Reggie Bush Claims He Made $100,000 Through USC Work-Study Program
NEW ORLEANS—Saints running back and former Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush refuted charges Monday that he accepted gifts, money, and other benefits exceeding $100 ...
College
Florida State University To Phase Out Academic Operations By 2010
SARASOTA, FL—Bowing to pressure from alumni, students, and a majority of teaching professors of Florida State University, athletic director...
LeBron James Amazed At 21-Year-Old's Ability To Stay Up All Night Studying For Physics Exam
CLEVELAND—21-year-old LeBron James, who skipped college to make millions of dollars in the National Basketball Association, was amazed to...
Caltech Physicists Successfully Split The Bill
PASADENA, CA—The party found the $284.57 bill to be an irrational number for eight people to pay at a Cheesecake Factory chain restaurant.
Freshman Running Back Wondering If Other Four Freshmen Running Backs Were Told They'd Start This Year
LOS ANGELES—University of Southern California freshman running back C.J. Gable wondered at practice yesterday if head coach Pete Carroll had...
Girl Moved To Tears By 'Of Mice And Men' Cliffs Notes
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A visibly shaken Grace Weaver said she never wanted the synopsis to end.
Motocrosser Quits After Learning Physics
TALLAHASSEE, FL—Reigning AMA Motocross national champion Ricky Carmichael, considered by many to be the greatest off-road motorcycle rider...
Heroic Computer Dies To Save World From Master's Thesis
Professors lauded the laptop for taking the literary atrocity with it into oblivion.
Calculus Problem Hits Too Close To Home
PULLMAN, WA–The analysis of formulae derived from the fundamental theorem of calculus had a profound and seemingly personal impact on...
Harvard Author Caught Plagiarizing
Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan, who was paid the largest advance for an unpublished author, admitted to having "unintentionally" borrowed...
Friendship With Homeless Man One-Sided
NEW HAVEN, CT—Yale University student Steve Hamlin says Freddie Paige's personal issues are interfering with their friendship.
MIT Fraternity Accused Of Robot Hazing
CAMBRIDGE, MA—One of the victims, forced to binge on 40 terabytes of data and swim across the Charles River, is feared drowned.
Duke University Equestrian Team Hoping To Avoid Investigation Into Their Sex Scandal
DURHAM, NC—Mere weeks after members of their university's lacrosse team were accused of sexually assaulting exotic dancers, ranking Duke polo and equestrian team ...
Bradley University Wants To Bring NCAA Title Back To Middle Of Nowhere
OAKLAND, CA—The Bradley men's basketball team, fresh from earning an appearance in the Sweet 16, are eagerly anticipating their chance to bring...
Army Recruitment On Campus
The Supreme Court ruled that universities must allow military recruiters on campus if they are going to accept federal money. What do you...
