Alcohol Awareness Class
Colleges across the country are requiring incoming freshmen to take an online alcohol-awareness course. What do you think?
College
ID Critic Beaten
Professor Paul Mirecki, head of the University of Kansas' Religious Studies Department, was severely beaten recently by individuals who objected to...
Enchilada Premonition Comes To Pass
BUFFALO, NY—An unaccountable vision of impending enchilada consumption experienced by SUNYBuffalo student Kris Lamberth came true early...
Alcohol Awareness Class
Colleges across the country are requiring incoming freshmen to take an online alcohol-awareness course. What do you think?
Activist Wet-T-Shirt Judge Votes For Girlfriend
COLUMBIA, SC—Andrew Scully, 26, a bartender and wet-T-shirt-contest judge at local nightclub Deep Waters, has been accused of personal bias and...
Bob Marley Rises From Grave To Free Frat Boys From Bonds Of Oppression
WILLIAMSBURG, VA—The reggae legend returned Monday to give a voice to the rich white frata mon.
Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up
HANOVER, NH—Darrin Floen is unfamiliar with John Stuart Mill's theory of cramming it for a change.
Uneventful Past Finally Catches Up To Boring Man
MILTONVALE, KS—Years of safe living finally caught up to 33-year-old accountant Brian Jorgens Sunday during a visit from old friends. "I thought I'd ...
Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad
AMSTERDAM—American students traveling abroad confirm the findings of a study indicating that Washington's unilateral approach to foreign policy has seriously undermined Americans' chances ...
The New SAT
Last week, thousands of high-school students took a new version of the SAT Reasoning Test. What are they saying about the revamped exam?
Teach For America Chews Up, Spits Out Another Ethnic-Studies Major
NEW YORK—Teach For America has devoured another ethnic-studies major, 24-year-old Andy Cuellen reported.
Cell Phone Lost, Found, All In Thrilling Four-Minute Period
PITTSBURGH, PA—Emotions quickly changed from panic to joy for University of Pittsburgh junior Evelyn Labaton when she lost, searched for, and found her Nokia ...
Kids Using Drugs To Study
Studies show that more and more college students are abusing prescription ADHD drugs like Adderall and Ritalin to help them study. What do you think?
Everyone On Campus Afraid Of That One Bar
SPOKANE, WA—Members of the Washington State University-Spokane student body announced Monday that everyone is afraid to visit K-Dee's Tap, that one bar without ...
Congressional Candidate Forced To Explain Controversial 1971 'Fuck Everything' Remark
LITTLE ROCK, AR—U.S. Rep. Vic Snyder (D-AR) was forced to defend himself Monday against Republican opponent Marvin Parks' claim that witnesses heard Snyder ...
College Sophomore Thinks She Would Make A Good Sex Columnist
STATE COLLEGE, PA—Lisbet "Lizzie" Gilchrist, a second-year undergraduate at Penn State University, told reporters that she has the makings of a good sex-advice columnist ...
Online University Cracks Down On Rowdy Online Fraternity
MINNEAPOLIS—Capella University, a highly trafficked institution of online learning, issued a stern disciplinary e-mail Monday.
