Companions
Everybody Shocked Body Found In Woods Not Justin
CEDAR RAPIDS, IA—Stunned friends and acquaintances expressed disbelief after learning that a corpse discovered in the woods the early Saturday morning was not Justin.
Report: Area Woman Has Best Friends In Whole World
NEW HAVEN, CT—A new report released Wednesday by a privately funded think tank revealed that local receptionist Amanda Berley, 31, has the best friends ...
Cyclist Friend Explains Necessity Of $35 Socks
MONESSEN, PA—Recreational cyclist Ethan Coseglia, 38, thoroughly explained the benefits of wearing $35 bike-riding socks to his friend Kevin Washburn Friday, saying that his ...
Work Friend Accidentally Becomes Real Friend
ATLANTA—"It's like everything had shifted," Eric Phipps said. "All of a sudden, I was stopping by his cubicle to ask about his woodworking ...
Dog Humiliated In Front Of Entire Park
CONCORD, NH—The mortifying scene, which included several heated utterances of "bad dog" and "very bad dog," lasted nearly 20 seconds, according to reports.
Pantene Markets New Shampoo As Best For Masturbating Boyfriend In Shower
CINCINNATI—"If you have difficult-to-manage hair and a two-hander to contend with, Pantene Pro V2 has got you covered," said spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe.
Sherpa Who Led Neil Armstrong To Moon Dead At 71
ST.PETERSBURG, FL—Following the well-worn path of his ancestors, Phurba Dorje, the lunar Sherpa, hauled dehydrated food and supplies as he led astronauts to ...
Lost Cat, Dog On Journey Die Immediately
JACKSON, WY—After their owners inadvertently left them behind in Yellowstone National Park, Louie, a 4-year-old golden retriever, and Nipsy,...
Point In Evening Reached Where Everyone Tries To Lift Biggest Friend
PIKEVILLE, KY—Three hours and half a keg into the night Thursday, a group of friends reportedly reached the point where everyone present...
Facebook Friend Apparently Dead Now
KANSAS CITY, MO—While checking his news feed for updates on the 438 people in his extended network Monday night, Tom Allessandro, 24,...
Friend Somehow Bad At Hanging Out
HOLDREGE, NE—"How can someone not be good at sitting on a couch and watching television with someone else?" longtime friend Jay Reagor asked.
Gratitude For Thank-You Note Plunges Friends Into Inescapable Appreciation Spiral
PHILADELPHIA—A reciprocated expression of gratitude provided upon receiving a thank-you note last month has plunged friends Amy Hildenbrand,...
Friend Of Friend Better Friend Than Friend
JOHNSTOWN, PA—Though friend Chris Brey, 31, and friend-of-friend Bill Scafuri, 33, did not immediately form a close friendship following...
Gerbil Growing Distant
TEMPE, AZ—"Lately it's almost as if he cares more about burrowing in his wood chips than he does about me," owner Doug Kerlin ...
















