Group Blasts Pork-Barrel Spending
The watchdog group Citizens Against Government Waste has released its latest edition of the "Pig Book," a list of government earmark spending...
Congress
Hungry FDA Official Orders Massive Pot Pie Recall
The FDA is urging all Americans in possession of flaky, delicious pot pies to turn them in to FDA headquarters as soon as possible.
Delicious Snacks Distract Congressmen From Horrors Of War
A congressional committee discussing Iraq War casualty levels approves of the tasty chips and salsa Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) brought to the hearing.
Congress To Raise Alpacas To Aid Struggling Economy
WASHINGTON—A bipartisan committee found the plan was a "super-easy" way to rake in cash, and has already borrowed supplies from Sen. Chuck Hagel's ...
Seating Chart Revised To Put Problem Senators Up Front
WASHINGTON—After several incidents of bipartisan name-calling and disruptive filibustering, Senate president Dick Cheney announced Monday...
Proposed Bill Would Bring 4,000 Troops Back To Life
WASHINGTON—According to Congress, the bill is the most effective way to ensure that the growing casualty rate in Iraq is instantly reversed and reduced ...
Postmaster General: 'Letter Carrier Surge Is Working'
WASHINGTON, DC—In testimony before Congress Tuesday, beleaguered Postmaster General John E. Potter stated that last month's nationwide...
Bush Rejects Iraq Funding Bill
On Tuesday, President Bush vetoed a congressional bill authorizing financing for the war in Iraq contingent on a timetable for troop withdrawal. What...
High School Student Council Passes Nonbinding Resolution
BARSTOW, CA—In a move intended to send an "unmistakably clear message" to Barstow County High School Principal Robert McCluskey, the...
Sharpton, Thurmond: Related?
The Rev. Al Sharpton wants his DNA tested agianst that of the late Senator Strom Thurmond to see if they are related. What do you ...
New Congressional Policies
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has eliminated smoking in the Capitol Building. Here are some other changes the Democrats have enacted on...
Nancy Pelosi Wants Congress To Want To Pass Bill
WASHINGTON, DC—The newly elected Speaker of the House accused fellow congressmen of being "distant" and "merely placating" her.
Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections
WASHINGTON, DC—Landslide victories for politicians in all 50 states indicate that voters still tend to elect politicians over non-politicians.
Voter Turnout Reaches All-Time Low Of 17
NEW YORK—Poll data indicates the 2006 mid-term elections were marked by the lowest turnout ever, with only 17 total votes cast. "Some 24...
Republicans Blame Election Losses On Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—Republican officials are blaming tonight's GOP losses on Democrats, who they claim have engaged in a wide variety of...
Write-In Candidate Thought He Had Enough Friends To Win
CUMBERLAND, WI—Small-business owner and colorful local character Dan "Daffy" Duckson's write-in campaign was defeated by a nearly eight-to-one...
