Congress
Nation Abuzz Over C-SPAN Original Movie
WASHINGTON, DC–Across America, excitement is building for this Friday's premiere of C-SPAN's first-ever original movie, Quorum Call: The H.R.1277 Story ...
Congress Allocates Some Serious Do-Re-Mi To Drought Relief
WASHINGTON, DC–With drought conditions approaching critical levels in the Deep South, Great Plains, and Southwest, Congress allocated some major moolah toward relief efforts in ...
Nevada Gaming Commission Lobbies Congress For Just $20 Million 'Til Friday
WASHINGTON, DC–Characterizing its financial woes as "nothing too serious, just the kind of setback everybody has now and then," the Nevada Gaming Commission lobbied ...
British Parliament Accused Of Plagiarizing U.S. Senate Bill S.576
WASHINGTON, DC–At a press conference Monday, members of Congress lambasted the British House Of Commons for "blatantly ripping off" Senate bill S.576.
Leather-Jacketed Congressman Makes Up His Own Rules
WASHINGTON, DC–U.S. Rep. Vinnie Abruzzo (I-NY), the greasy-haired, leather-jacketed legislator who joined Congress in January 1999, is fast earning a reputation as a ...
Republicans Back Universal Lawn-Care Bill
WASHINGTON, DC–Seeking to make "comprehensive, high-quality lawn and garden care accessible to all Americans," a coalition of House Republicans Monday introduced H.R. 4702 ...
Congress Wonders If It's Even Making A Difference Anymore
WASHINGTON, DC–With their second session well underway, members of the 106th U.S. Congress have fallen into a deep emotional malaise, openly questioning their ...
National Funk Congress Deadlocked On Get Up/Get Down Issue
CHOCOLATE CITY—The bitter "get up/get down" battle has polarized the nation's funk community.
Congress Passes 'America Is #1' Bill
WASHINGTON, DC—In yet another victory for America, the bill that makes its greatness official passed Congress Monday.
Congress Discontinues Festival Seating After Insurance-Deregulation-Bill Stampede
WASHINGTON, DC—Reacting to the Sept. 7 stampede in which 18 members of the House of Representatives were trampled to death in a mad dash ...
Congress Approves $4 Billion For Bread, Circuses
WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to ensure the continued distraction and contentedness of the American people during a time of unprecedented prosperity, Congress allocated $4 billion for ...
Should The U.S. Impose Limits On Incredibly Stupid Shit?
WASHINGTON, DC—With national stupid-shit consumption at an all-time high and federal shit projections indicating sharply rising levels of stupidity over the next decade and ...
Clinton Vetoes Bill For Reason He Can't Put His Finger On
WASHINGTON, DC—Citing a variety of vague misgivings he "can't quite explain," President Clinton vetoed Monday H.R. 1556, a bill that would have ...
Deciding Vote On Wetlands Preservation Bill Rests With The Littlest Senator
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress narrowly passed the McCann-Hawkins Florida Wetlands Preservation Bill Tuesday, with the deciding vote coming from an unlikely source: Sen. Dwight Q. Peabody ...
Importance Of Education Given Valuable Lip Service
BLOOMINGTON, IN—In a speech before constituents at Indiana University Tuesday, U.S. Rep. Dan Burton (R-IN) paid much-needed lip service to the importance of ...
Congressman Waits Until Last Minute To Write New Law
WASHINGTON, DC—The law turned in by Rep. Jim Leach was full of slipshod writing, convoluted logic, and questionable constitutionality.
Lewinsky Subpoenaed To Re-Blow Clinton On Senate Floor
WASHINGTON, DC—On the heels of last week's decision to allow witness testimony in the presidential impeachment trial, key witness Monica Lewinsky was subpoenaed ...
Freshman Senator Dies In Hazing Incident
WASHINGTON, DC—The future of the Senate Committee on Rules and Administration is in question following Tuesday's death of a freshman senator in what ...
Strom Thurmond Drafts Bill Prohibiting Telegraph Porn
WASHINGTON, DC–Contending that morse-coded descriptions of improperly petticoated young ladies are undermining the morals of American boys yet in short pants, U.S. Sen ...
