Report: Meat Now America's No. 2 Condiment
CHICAGO—Bacon and spreadable veal helped the up-and-comer best Big Three standards salsa and mayonnaise for the first time.
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Corn Lobby Tightens The Screws
WASHINGTON, DC—Representatives from the National Corn Growers Association put the screws to several U.S. senators in a meeting held at an undisclosed Washington ...
America's Obese: A Food Source For America's Even More Obese?
WASHINGTON, DC—The answer to morbidly obese Americans' problems could be standing right behind them in the buffet line.
Food-Court Taco Bell Not As Good, Area Man Reports
ERIE, PA—Fast-food consumer Don Turnbee announced Monday that the Taco Bell in the Millcreek Mall food court is "not as good" as regular, full-service ...
Jews, Muslims, Hindus Agree On Chicken
GENEVA—After years of sectarian violence, a coalition of Jews, Muslims, and Hindus signed an international resolution Monday, confirming their mutual appreciation of chicken dishes ...
Despite Bad Press, Calorie Industry Projects Record-Breaking Year
HOUSTON—In spite of seemingly endless criticism, representatives for the U.S. calorie industry predicted another record-breaking year in 2005, the American Calorie Council announced ...
Michael Moore Honored With New Ben & Jerry's Flavor
BURLINGTON, VT—The Waffle Truth will honor the dynamic visionary by combining premium vanilla ice cream with strawberries and waffle-cone bits.
FDA Recommends The Blue Marlin
ROCKVILLE, MD—The Food and Drug Administration announced Monday that it recommends the blue marlin for its combination of flavor, texture, and price. "Have you ...
Many Animals Harmed In Catering Of Film
LOS ANGELES—More than 50 animal-rights activists picketed outside the gates of 20th Century Fox studios Monday to protest the fact that hundreds of animals ...
Grocery-Store Worker Can't Bear To Eat Food Anymore
FLOURISSANT, MO—Pick'n Save stockboy Joel Melcher said Monday that his overexposure to groceries has destroyed his taste for food. "When I first started ...
New Prescription-Only Sandwich Extra Delicious
NEW YORK—Pfizer formally introduced Hoagizine, a pharmaceutical-grade Turkey-Bacon-Guacamole Melt.
New Nietzschean Diet Lets You Eat Whatever You Fear Most
NEW YORK—By conquering your Fear and eating it in Heroic Portions, one can avoid the Eternal Occurrence of weight gain.
Virulent Strain Of Soy Flu Traced To Single Tofurkey
SAN FRANCISCO—A virulent strain of soy flu has been traced to a single tofurkey at a Bay Area food-processing factory. "An investigation of Green ...
Atkins-Friendly Fast Food
Many fast-food restaurants have introduced low-carb menu items intended to lure Atkins dieters. Among the most popular:
Turkey Sandwich Given Locally Relevant Name
FAIRMOUNT, IN—For the 87,836th time, a turkey sandwich was given a locally relevant name, Mary Anne's Café owner Mary Anne Gunday reported ...
Man Always Three Ingredients Away From Making Pancakes
BOISE, ID—In spite of the numerous times he's craved pancakes during the past year, Mike Herrin, 26, always finds himself three ingredients shy ...
Genetically Modified Foods
Genetically modified foods are becoming more prevalent. Why are some people concerned?
