Apple Hard At Work Making iPhone Obsolete
CUPERTINO, CA—Only a month after the much-heralded announcement of the iPhone, Apple CEO Steve Jobs confirmed that his engineers were...
Corporations
Small Businessman Conducts Business On Miniature Golf Course
BURLINGTON, VT—Independent entrepreneur Phil Beenes secured yet another low-three-figure business contract for his four-person commercial...
Bush Designates USA Today "Small Business"
The Bush administration designated several large companies, including media giants USA Today and the Associated Press, as small businesses,...
Executive Reschedules Wife's Birthday For October
ST. LOUIS—Citing crucial budget meetings, the rollout of a seasonal ad blitz, and several can't-miss golf games, Hewlett–Packard...
Employees Still Have No Idea What's Going On After Attending Meeting
BOSTON—The staff of Viacom's regional syndication and licensing division have "absolutely no idea" what is happening with their operations,...
A-Rod Shipped Back To Manufacturer To Fix Mechanical Flaw In Swing
NEW YORK—After noticing a slight, recurring mechanical flaw in its swing that has caused its season average to dip to .275, Yankee officials...
Gates To Leave Microsoft
Bill Gates announced that he will be giving up his duties in the day-to-day operations of Microsoft in 2008. What do you think?
Coke-Sponsored Rover Finds Evidence Of Dasani On Mars
PASADENA, CA—According to the Real Rover, cool, refreshing Dasani once flowed freely on the surface of the Red Planet.
ExxonMobil Swears It's Going To Start Taxes Early This Year
IRVING, TX—Hoping to avoid the "scraping and scrambling" it does every year, the ExxonMobil Corporation announced Tuesday that it has made a solemn promise ...
New Viacom Ad Tells Employees To Get Back To Work
NEW YORK—Viacom, the global media conglomerate that includes such properties as CBS, Paramount Pictures, MTV, Nickelodeon, UPN, Showtime, Blockbuster Video, and Simon and Schuster ...
Immigrant Workers Vs. Wal-Mart
Hundreds of undocumented immigrants have filed a discrimination and exploitation lawsuit against Wal-Mart. What are the workers' complaints?
IBM Emancipates 8,000 Wage Slaves
ARMONK, NY—In a move hailed by corporation owners as a forward-thinking humanitarian gesture, IBM emancipated more than 8,000 wage slaves from its factories ...
Corporation Reaches Goal, Shuts Down
AUSTIN, TX—After 18 years of striving, Dell Computer finally reached its long-stated goal to be the worldwide leader in computing systems Monday and promptly ...
Americans Would Be Outraged If They Understood Enron Collapse
HOUSTON—According to an independent report released Monday, Americans would be outraged if they had a basic grasp of the details of the Enron collapse ...
