July 29—Police were alerted to a wall on Douglas Street that had been covered with graffiti, but refused to pass judgment on someone else ...
MALIBU, CA—Saying he had wanted to talk about the subject for years but feared it would damage his career, beloved entertainer Dick Van Dyke ...
DORCHESTER, MA—The ongoing trial of notorious Boston crime boss James “Whitey” Bulger on 19 murder-related charges took another pivotal turn today as Massachusetts authorities ...
WASHINGTON—Saying that, hey, it beats nothing, Americans across the nation expressed gratitude today that Shellie Dean Zimmerman, the Florida woman accused of lying to ...
WASHINGTON—FBI officials announced Friday that even though they have enough evidence to make an arrest, they just can’t bring themselves to bust a ...
FRAMINGHAM, MA—Adding yet another wrinkle to the football player and media sensation’s eventful offseason, authorities confirmed today that a former teammate of New ...
The Onion looks at what Snowden’s current options are.
SANFORD, FL—As the trial of former neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman entered its second day this morning, defense attorney Don West reportedly opened his ...
FOR Typed, signed letter from Martin confirming he attacked Zimmerman Americans have soft spot for nation’s rugged, rawly sexual neighborhood watch volunteers Actions fall ...
BOSTON—One week into the criminal trial of alleged mobster James “Whitey” Bulger, reports surfaced Monday that the accused organized crime kingpin ordered the murders ...
HOUSTON—According to numerous sources, a star athlete of the city’s professional sports team was reportedly arrested in the late hours of yesterday evening ...
WASHINGTON—Saying that the last thing he ever wanted to do was ask “311 million mouth-breathing morons” for help, the Federal Bureau of Investigation freely ...
NEW YORK—In the latest of an increasingly violent series of murders linked to international prescription drug trafficking, infamous Pfizer cartel leader Philip “El Loco ...
SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE—According to a report filed with the Sweethaven Police Department, the private residence of sailor man Popeye was violently boiglerized at approximately 4 ...
PARIS, TN—The Henry County Sheriff's Department announced Monday the arrest of a local man charged with burglarizing the climate-controlled beard humidor of country ...