PARAMUS, NJ—"I'd love for students to make Santas with big, bushy beards, but times are tough, and cotton balls don't grow on ...

As performance-enhancing drugs become increasingly sophisticated, so do the methods for detecting their use. Onion Sports explains some of the...

SAN CLEMENTE, CA—"We at least have to see the next new episode of Lost before spilling the blood of the infidels," cell leader and ...

CHAPEL HILL, NC—Novelist, playwright, and poet H. Gregor Lafferty, 41, announced Monday his plan to use water as a metaphor in an upcoming...

MORRISTOWN, NJ—"When most people hear The Merchant of Venice, they think 1960s Las Vegas, but it's time to shake things up," said maverick ...

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—It is feared the sudden lack of online companionship could inflict long-term psychological damage among MySpace's 150 million users.

LONDON—Once thought to be the most definitive reference of its kind, Guinness World Records was forced to formally recognize The...

DENVER—Family and friends attending a two-hour birthday dinner for 26-year-old Josh Kebbekus at The Cheesecake Factory yesterday concluded...

NEW HOPE, MN—In an attempt to address writers' ever-growing word-emphasis needs, Minnesota-based Pica Foundry has developed a new,...

LOS ANGELES—Despite the existence of cinema classics such as Citizen Kane, The Godfather, and Seven Samurai, the 2004...

CHICAGO—Producers have documented every single existential crisis or self-congratulatory epiphany that has been or could be experienced by a left-leaning agnostic.

PRINCETON, NJ—The Educational Testing Service, developer of the Scholastic Aptitude Test, is creating a new section on the standardized...

WASHINGTON, DC—Just 15 minutes away from Dulles International Airport yesterday, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice reportedly shouted to...

GWYNEDD, WALES—Recent developments in the music world, such as the popularity of the Dixie Chicks and Sufjan Stevens, have created a "perfect storm of ...