Mr. Special Foreign Man Won't Read Anything Not Written In His Own Language
CHICAGO—The Greek has his foreign newspaper air-mailed here rather than read the good old Chicago Tribune.
Cultures
Girls Gone Wild Released Back Into Civilization
SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, TX—The Wild Life Rescue Foundation continues to restrict the girls' access to D-List celebrities and songs by Poison.
'Now We Can Finally Put Civil Rights Behind Us'
DETROIT—With the passing of Rosa Parks, America has also buried the long, hard struggle for racial equality.
All-Minority Postal Staff Undergoes Mandatory Diversity Training
ATLANTA—Every member of the racially diverse Pryor Road postal station's staff was required to attend a multiculturalism-sensitivity seminar Monday.
Study: Reality TV, Reality Unfair To Blacks
WASHINGTON, DC—According to a study released Monday by the Center for Media and Social Research, the reality-TV genre is unfairly biased against black people ...
Blacks, Whites Put Differences Aside, Work Together To Make Better Burger
LOUISVILLE, KY—A local multiethnic McDonald’s crew, blind to skin color, stand united in an effort to make a better burger.
Zambia Elects Black President
LUSAKA, ZAMBIA—In a historic triumph for Zambia's African-African community, Bilikisu Adewale, a 49-year-old black man, was elected president Monday.
Anti-Racism Laws Mutate Racism Into Newer, Stronger Form
WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Monday by the Center For The Study Of Human-Morality-Legislation Attempts, the passage of anti-racism laws in recent decades ...
Republicans Urge Minorities To Get Out And Vote On Nov. 3
MIAMI, FL—With the knowledge that the minority vote will be crucial in the upcoming presidential election, Republican Party officials are urging blacks, Hispanics, and ...
Nostalgia Prompts Return Of Negro Baseball Leagues
NEW YORK—Influenced by the high demand for Negro League memorabilia, Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced Monday that, for the 2004 season, the ...
Tribesman Guilted Into Attending Friend's Boundary Dance
KOROMA, PAPUA NEW GUINEA—Huli tribesman Olene, 32, expressed annoyance Tuesday after being "guilt-tripped" into agreeing to attend his friend Gumaiba's boundary dance.
ACLU Defends Nazis' Right To Burn Down ACLU Headquarters
NEW YORK—At a press conference Monday, American Civil Liberties Union officials announced that the organization will go to court to defend a neo-Nazi group ...
Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables
PHILADELPHIA—Chrissie Bellisle admitted that infusing garbage items with recognizable racial traits—while avoiding stereotypes—is difficult.
Hostel-Dwelling Swede Getting Laid Big-Time
NEW YORK–Anders Perssen, 23, a Swedish backpacker currently staying at the Chelsea International Youth Hostel, admitted Monday to getting "a great large amount of ...
White History Year Resumes
WASHINGTON, DC—Scholars say there is a remarkable wealth of documented white history to explore this coming March through December.
Man Who's 1/16th Irish Proud Of His Irish Heritage
KENOSHA, WI—Despite being just 1/16th Irish, Dennis Kroeger, a 27-year-old marketing manager whose great-great grandmother hailed from County Cork, is fiercely proud of ...
Deaf Man's Deaf Friends Way Too Into Deaf Culture
COLUMBIA, MD—Jonathan Deeds, a 26-year-old Rockville resident who lost his hearing as an infant, feels a growing sense of alienation from his deaf friends ...
Crazy Japanese Punk Girl Delights Entire Dorm Floor
MOORHEAD, MN—Foreign student Misako Takashima has fostered floor-wide frienship by putting on impromptu puppet shows.
Area Liberal Worried His Asian Dry Cleaner Doesn't Like Him
SAN FRANCISCO—Steve Bern hopes his dry cleaner does not think he is supporting the exploitation of her people with his 'Made In China' tags.
Fast-Food Purchase Seething With Unspoken Class Conflict
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Resentment, anger, and pity were the emotions mutually felt by Burger King employee Duane Hesketh and customer Robert Lalley.
