Death

Kennedy Family Releases List Of Tragic Ways Remaining Members Could Die

ISSUE 48•21 | 05.23.12 | News

HYANNIS PORT, MA—Following last week's tragic loss of yet another family member, the grieving Kennedys released a list of numerous heartbreaking ways the dynasty's remaining living relatives could die, sources confirmed Tuesday. This list, which is ... more»
Marilyn Helms, 91, knows you're looking at her age and thinking, "She lived long enough." Well, fuck you.

ISSUE 48•19 | 05.13.12 | Obituaries

Marilyn Helms, 91, knows you're looking at her age and thinking, "She lived long enough." Well, fuck you. more»
Mike Abramson, 33, sure showed all of you when he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound Tuesday night.

ISSUE 48•19 | 05.10.12 | Obituaries

Mike Abramson, 33, sure showed all of you when he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound Tuesday night. more»
John Daniels died from laughing so hard his heart fell out his butt.

ISSUE 48•19 | 05.08.12 | Obituaries

John Daniels died from laughing so hard his heart fell out his butt. more»
Following Death Of Adam Yauch, Grieving China Frees Tibet

ISSUE 48•18 | 05.04.12 | News in Photos
Remembering Dick Clark

ISSUE 48•18 | 05.03.12 | Infographic

Dick Clark, the creator and longtime host of American Bandstand and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, died on Apr. 18 of a heart attack. Here are some highlights from the beloved TV personality’s life: ... more»
Whoever egged Rob Murtha's Dodge Charger is as good as dead.

ISSUE 48•17 | 04.29.12 | Obituaries

Whoever egged Rob Murtha's Dodge Charger is as good as dead. more»
After a series of failed suicide attempts, Maria Trotter, 28, was killed last night in a car accident. The other driver should know not to feel too terrible about the whole thing.

ISSUE 48•17 | 04.26.12 | Obituaries

After a series of failed suicide attempts, Maria Trotter, 28, was killed last night in a car accident. more»
Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet companies. Guy still died.

ISSUE 48•17 | 04.17.12 | Obituaries

Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet companies. more»
Death Of Beloved Boxing Writer Bert Sugar Introduces Thousands To Beloved Boxing Writer Bert Sugar

ISSUE 48•14 | 03.30.12 | Sports News in Brief

MOUNT KISCO, NY—Bert Sugar, the prolific and colorful boxing writer whose smart-aleck yet genuine enthusiasm for boxing allowed him to straddle the line between critic and fan, gained thousands of new fans this week by dying of cardiac arrest at age... more»
Unwilling to go down without a fight, Honkers the Canada Goose took 37 people with him after getting sucked into an Airbus A319 engine.

ISSUE 48•12 | 03.25.12 | Obituaries

Unwilling to go down without a fight, Honkers the Canada Goose took 37 people with him after getting sucked into an Airbus A319 engine. more»
Jimmy Oblain, 82, died quietly last night in his sleep, in the middle of a fucking terrifying nightmare.

ISSUE 48•12 | 03.22.12 | Obituaries

Jimmy Oblain, 82, died quietly last night in his sleep, in the middle of a fucking terrifying nightmare. more»
Spring break marked the death of First Semester Shelby Dicks and the birth of Second Semester Shelby Diques.

ISSUE 48•12 | 03.20.12 | Obituaries

Spring break marked the death of First Semester Shelby Dicks and the birth of Second Semester Shelby Diques. more»
Black Sheep Of Earnhardt Family Dies In Public Transit Crash

ISSUE 48•11 | 03.12.12 | Sports News in Brief

SAN FRANCISCO—Dr. Terrance Earnhardt, youngest son of the late NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt, died Friday when the light-rail Muni Metro train he was riding home from his oncology practice derailed, delivering one final embarrassment to the racing fa... more»
Ascending Soul Already Misses Possessions

ISSUE 48•10 | 03.09.12 | Radio News
Royal Welcome

ISSUE 48•08 | 02.20.12 | Editorial Cartoon
'Soul Train' Creator Don Cornelius Dead

ISSUE 48•06 | 02.09.12 | Infographic

Last week, the final chapter of Soul Train came to a close when show creator and longtime host Don Cornelius was found dead in his California home. Here are some highlights from the legendary show he created: 1971: Ja... more»
An unopened one-gallon jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise quietly expired last week.

ISSUE 48•05 | 02.02.12 | Obituaries

An unopened one-gallon jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise quietly expired last week. more»
Rosa Maria Torres, 81, died peacefully in bed surrounded by fat grandkids.

ISSUE 48•05 | 01.31.12 | Obituaries

Rosa Maria Torres, 81, died peacefully in bed surrounded by fat grandkids. more»
Murder No Longer Among Top Killers In U.S.

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.17.12 | American Voices

For the first time since 1965, murder was not among the top 15 causes of death in the United States, having been replaced by the respiratory ailment pneumonitis. more»
Those We Lost In 2011

ISSUE 47•51 | 12.19.11 | News in Photos

North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-il, Col. Muammar Qaddafi, Family Circus creator Bil Keane, al-Qaeda founder Osama bin Laden. more»
Those We Lost In 2011

ISSUE 47•50 | 12.18.11 | Slideshow

Once again, the world experienced several million deaths over the course of a year. Five of those people who died were famous. more»
Fumbling, Inarticulate Obituary Writer Somehow Losing Debate To Christopher Hitchens

ISSUE 47•50 | 12.16.11 | News in Photos
Near-Death Experience Followed By Right-On-The-Money-Death Experience

ISSUE 47•16 | 04.26.11 | Radio News
Dead Teen Had Pretty Terrible Life Ahead Of Him, Parents Report

ISSUE 46•49 | 12.11.10 | News

PONCHA SPRINGS, CO—Still reeling from the sudden loss of their 17-year-old son last week, parents Ben and Martha Harwich spoke Tuesday about the largely unremarkable young man they said would have faced a disappointing and frustrating future had his life not been cut short by a car accident. more»
Report: Only One In Every 150,000 Dead Children Becomes Angel

ISSUE 46•43 | 10.25.10 | News in Brief

CHICAGO—Contradicting long-held conventional wisdom, a report appearing this week in The Journal Of Theological Studies concludes that, among children who perish before the age of 4, only one in 150,000 becomes an angel. more»
Employees Suspect Old Man Came To Roy Rogers To Die

ISSUE 46•32 | 08.14.10 | News

ALLENTOWN, PA—"He came shuffling in really slowly this morning and just sort of slumped over there in the back," said cashier Brianne Pecor, 17, who claimed the old man has ordered nothing in the past two hours but a small cup of coffee. "It's pretty heartbreaking to watch. Guess the poor old guy doesn't have much of an appetite left. He's probably just looking for a calm, quiet corner where he can curl up and pass away." more»
George Steinbrenner Dead After Firing Underperforming Heart

ISSUE 46•28 | 07.13.10 | Photo Finish
Married Paramedics Bickering Over Best Way To Restart Heart

07.05.10 | Newswire
Senior Getting Great Funeral Ideas From Friends

ISSUE 46•25 | 06.26.10 | News

TAMPA, FL—As he nears his 83rd birthday next month, local man Robert Lech told reporters that attending dozens of funerals over the past several years has given him "tons of great ideas" for his own memorial service, and has really opened his eyes to what a funeral can be. more»

death

Kennedy Family Releases List Of Tragic Ways Remaining Members Could Die

Marilyn Helms, 91, knows you're looking at her age and thinking, "She lived long enough." Well, fuck you.

Mike Abramson, 33, sure showed all of you when he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound Tuesday night.

John Daniels died from laughing so hard his heart fell out his butt.

Following Death Of Adam Yauch, Grieving China Frees Tibet

Remembering Dick Clark

Whoever egged Rob Murtha's Dodge Charger is as good as dead.

After a series of failed suicide attempts, Maria Trotter, 28, was killed last night in a car accident. The other driver should know not to feel too terrible about the whole thing.

Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet companies. Guy still died.

Death Of Beloved Boxing Writer Bert Sugar Introduces Thousands To Beloved Boxing Writer Bert Sugar

Unwilling to go down without a fight, Honkers the Canada Goose took 37 people with him after getting sucked into an Airbus A319 engine.

Jimmy Oblain, 82, died quietly last night in his sleep, in the middle of a fucking terrifying nightmare.

Spring break marked the death of First Semester Shelby Dicks and the birth of Second Semester Shelby Diques.

Black Sheep Of Earnhardt Family Dies In Public Transit Crash

Ascending Soul Already Misses Possessions

Royal Welcome

'Soul Train' Creator Don Cornelius Dead

An unopened one-gallon jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise quietly expired last week.

Rosa Maria Torres, 81, died peacefully in bed surrounded by fat grandkids.

Murder No Longer Among Top Killers In U.S.

Those We Lost In 2011

Those We Lost In 2011

Fumbling, Inarticulate Obituary Writer Somehow Losing Debate To Christopher Hitchens

Near-Death Experience Followed By Right-On-The-Money-Death Experience

Dead Teen Had Pretty Terrible Life Ahead Of Him, Parents Report

Report: Only One In Every 150,000 Dead Children Becomes Angel

Employees Suspect Old Man Came To Roy Rogers To Die

George Steinbrenner Dead After Firing Underperforming Heart

Married Paramedics Bickering Over Best Way To Restart Heart

Senior Getting Great Funeral Ideas From Friends

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan