STONY BROOK, NY—Research states that a daily serving of brains supplies vital sugars and ganglia essential to promote zombie fitness.

EDEN PRAIRIE, MN— Despite his best intentions, moviegoer Brad Schuyler failed to make his snack supply last beyond the opening credits of Monsters, Inc. Monday ...

WAUKESHA, WI—According to the nutritional information on the back of a bag of Fritos, area resident Jerry Ploeg just ate 16 servings of the ...

WASHINGTON, DC–According to a report released Monday by the Surgeon General's office, 67 percent of U.S. citizens have gigantic fat asses, with ...

CLEARWATER, FL—Joanna Hoff admitted that she got on "the coffee train" to help meet the demands of a hectic lifestyle.

HOLLYWOOD– In a major Hollywood security leak, an Encino, CA, company has made "Weight-Loss Secrets Of The Stars" available to the non-famous. Direct Sales International ...

OCEANSIDE, CA–During her daily four-mile, 5 a.m. run, jogger Andrea Kallen expressed pity for all the people still in their soft, warm beds ...

MEMPHIS, TN–At 8:56 a.m. Monday, Len Blake consumed his 2,401st calorie of the day, surpassing his recommended daily caloric intake of ...

HERSHEY, PA—This product-liability verdict sends a clear message to Big Chocolate.

WICHITA FALLS, TX—Hey, man, is area resident Craig Goodwin all done with those fries? No? Okay, that's cool, but if the 26-year-old website ...

SILVER SPRING, MD—Greg Geisinger, a 265-pound Wilmington man whose seven-year marriage ended in divorce earlier this month, must get back down to his dating ...

MURFREESBORO, TN—Longtime fries sufferer Chuck Milner died Monday, succumbing to the fat- and cholesterol-laden side dish after a brave 53-year battle. "Sadly, Milner's ...