SANTA BARBARA, CA—Several cities in Southern California were placed under a state of high alert early Tuesday after a large and markedly destructive wildman ...
Take some time off work and spend your last days free from the bonds of the oppressive and culturally devoid institution that was just about ...
APPLETON, WI—Less than 24 hours after their god bestowed two delicious orange slices upon them, local ants reported the capricious deity had picked up ...
MENLO PARK, CA—Though the event went largely unremarked upon at the time, a report published Monday by the Kaiser Family Foundation has found that ...
ASHLAND, OH—-A night of forced binge drinking and other dangerous initiation rituals ended in horrible tragedy Tuesday when pledge member Steven Paulson, 18, was ...
WASHINGTON—"Run for your lives! The president no longer has a masterful yet unpretentious command of the English language," cried citizens from coast to coast.
NEW ORLEANS, LA—"Our job here is done," said FEMA Undersecretary R. David Paulison, cutting the ribbon on a newly restored pile of garbage.
WASHINGTON, DC—Eighty-seven percent of Americans are "ill-equipped" to deal with solar flares, giant comets, and an all-engulfing Armageddon borne out of God's wrath.
LAGOS, NIGERIA—UN officials remain unsure what caused the population explosion, but point out that border disputes with neighboring Chad and Niger have cooled heroin ...
WASHINGTON, DC—Weather-beaten U.S. citizens have responded to predictions of swirling blood storms and softball-sized clot-hail with numb resignation.
MURPHY, ID—Indescribable tragedy struck the quiet foothill town of Murphy Monday, leaving authorities and citizens dumbstruck by the nameless horror that descended on their ...
WASHINGTON, DC—Satellite photographs have revealed the recent test-detonation of several hundred extremely small explosive devices in the remote Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region of Southwestern ...
WASHINGTON, DC—The National Transportation Safety Board cited "fate's cruel hand" as the cause of a 747 crash.
MINNEAPOLIS—Dick Donovan has been forced to miss work for the sixth time in eight months following the tragic passing of "Grandma Melissa."
SESAME STREET—Tragedy struck this peaceful, educational New York neighborhood Saturday when a horrible, scary monster dismembered and devoured television star Grover, despite the Muppet ...