Doctors
Herpetologist Names Son After Famous Herpetologist
CORAL GABLES, FLHerpetologist Linus R. Bolton and his wife Kareena announced Monday that they are the proud parents of eight-pound, five-ounce Archie Carr Bolton ...
Preparing For A Hospital Stay
While a trip to the hospital is rarely pleasant, here are some tips to help you prepare for the experience:
Neurosurgeon Heckled From Observation Deck
HOUSTON—Dr. Martin Kenneth Rinjipur, a neurosurgeon at Methodist Hospital, was heckled from the observation deck Monday after removing a cancerous tumor from a patient ...
Prescription-Drug Safety
When taking prescription drugs, it is vital to be fully informed about proper usage. Here are some helpful hints to ensure your safety:
Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever
ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert ...
Heimlich Demands Maneuver Royalties
CINCINNATI—Lawyers for Dr. Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, warned Monday that the doctor will sue anyone who performs his patented procedure without ...
U.S. Children Getting Majority Of Antibiotics From McDonald's Meat
WASHINGTON, DC—According to a Department of Health and Human Services report released Monday, McDonald's meat from antibiotics-injected livestock is now the primary source ...
ER Doctor Secretly Thinks Of Self As Ward's George Clooney
KANSAS CITY, MO—Dr. Andrew Lassiter, a St. Luke's Medical Center emergency-room physician, secretly regards himself as the hospital's real-life equivalent to George ...
God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder
NEW HAVEN, CT—The new diagnosis helps explain the contradictory aspects of the cosmos that have baffled theologians for years.
Giant Blood Clot Dislodges From Your Femoral Artery
CIRCULATORY SYSTEM–According to lower-extremity sources, a blood clot two to three times larger than necessary to cause a heart attack has broken loose from ...
Long Story Short, They Had To Cut Off Area Guy's Arm
PHOENIX–Long story short, surgeons were forced to amputate this guy's right arm above the elbow, sources reported Tuesday. "Yeah, well, the guy'll ...
Terminally Ill Friend Not Much Fun Anymore
EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ–Edward DuBrow, diagnosed with terminal leukemia on July 11, is not much fun to hang around with anymore, friends of the East ...
Ritalin Cures Next Picasso
WORCESTER, MA—Area 7-year-old Douglas Castellano's unbridled energy and creativity are no longer a problem thanks to Ritalin, doctors for the child announced Monday ...
Doctors Give Area Man Six Months To Pay
CARBONDALE, IL—Doctors at Southern Illinois Hospital confirmed Monday that Dale Monfort, a 39-year-old lymphatic-cancer sufferer who underwent emergency surgery last week, has just six ...
Dog Urine Lowers Heart-Attack Risk, Say Snickering Researchers
BALTIMORE—A team of researchers at Johns Hopkins University have found a link between the consumption of dog urine and the decreased likelihood of heart ...












