Education
Teen Rebel Refusing To Purchase Yearbook
WESTERVILLE, OH—Refusing to march in lockstep with the other drones at Westerville Junior High, 16-year-old rebel Chris Iconia announced Monday he would not be ...
Should teachers be eliminated and replaced by dogs trained to press "play" on DVD players loaded with a single, long educational video?
In order to cut budgets, some states are switching to a "one teacher per school" plan which will increase average class sizes to 1,000 ...
School Board Acts To Remove Emotionally Disturbed Students
After a shooting at their high school, a school board in Granton, KS has enacted a new proactive plan for removing emotionally disturbed students from ...
New Parenting Book Sparks Outrage
Last week, Penguin Press published Amy Chua's book Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother, which criticizes "Western" parenting and advocates an "Asian" approach that ...
New 'Huckleberry Finn' Edited For Language
A new edition of the Mark Twain classic Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, forthcoming next month from NewSouth Books, will replace every use of the word ...
Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It
WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of Education released a comprehensive, nationwide evaluation of American schools Monday indicating that attempts to teach absolutely anything to these ...
Alumni Office Dispatches Navajo Tracker To Hunt Down Glen Schutt '98
TEMPE, AZ—Representatives in the alumni office at Arizona State University announced this week that in an effort to determine the whereabouts and current mailing ...
Man Attends 25-Year Nursery School Reunion
LA GRANGE, IL—Area man Brian Classon attended his 25-year nursery school reunion on Friday and told reporters he had a great time reconnecting with ...
'With Binomials, Just Remember FOIL,' Reports Man Keeping Teens From Having Sex Between 2:30 And 3:20
BEDFORD, NY—"When multiplying binomials, just remember the acronym FOIL," a man said Friday, thereby preventing a classroom of teenagers from engaging in rampant, uncontrolled ...
Ira Glass Tries To Explain 'This American Life' At High School Reunion
BALTIMORE—According to sources at Milford Mill High School's 30-year reunion, alumnus Ira Glass spent most of Saturday's event laboring to explain his ...
Second-Most Popular Kid In School Assumes Power Following Death Of Star Quarterback
Pledges 'Seamless Transition' Of Coolness
NORFOLK, NE—Three days after the unexpected death of star quarterback Chad McIntyre, Norfolk High School's second-most popular kid announced Tuesday that he would ...
Back-To-School Necessities
No matter what your level of education, the first day of school arrives with anxiety about the things you forgot to bring. Here's a ...













