ROCKVILLE, MD—Militant pro-literacy terrorists struck here Friday night, as a pipe bomb exploded at Rockville Adult Learning Annex, killing 52 illiterates and injuring dozens ...

STORRS, CT—A major contribution to the study of 19th-century literature was made Monday with the handing-in of "Silas Marner: Paper #1" by Lori Durst.

WASHINGTON, DC—Buck-naked Dr. Donald Scherr addressed students and educators about the state of American education.

WASHINGTON, DC—The NEA called on parents and teachers to address the problem of low-quality suicide notes among U.S. teens.

DOVER, DE—With Dover Central High School's May 11 prom fast approaching, unpopular seniors Kenneth Edmonds, 17, and James Montauk, 18, are actively downplaying ...

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA—A dry explanation of cellular reproduction was considerably lightened Monday when Arnold Hager, 15, made a witty and cutting remark to a ...

PHOENIX—According to officials, students in Coach Peeler's gym class could be trying a lot harder.

OAKLAND, CA—In an effort to abide by the Oakland Public Schools' new "ebonics" instruction regulations, one area teacher mistakenly began teaching the subject of ...

MILFORD, MD—In an attempt to earn more than $5.50 per hour, Alice Stellsen, a local dullard and mother of two, will attend Maryland ...

BRAMP, KS—Freshmen Chad Drubham and Kurt Beem have been unable to lure non-photographic naked women to their room.

AUSTIN, TX—Scandal rocked the University of Texas Monday, when it was learned that Bin Lu, a 28-year-old physics teaching assistant, was not born in ...

The price of a college education is higher than ever, as tuition costs continue to rise. How are America's universities spending all this extra ...

WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Department of Education released the results of an exhaustive three-year study of American secondary schools Monday, announcing that seniors rule.

SKOKIE, IL—After a tremendously broadening year of travel through Northern Africa, area student Naomi Pilchner returned home to the U.S. yesterday, returning to ...

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Ushering in a new era in American education, U.S. Secretary of Education William Norwell announced Monday that all U.S.

Leon Rothberg, Ph.D., a 58-year-old professor of English Literature at Ohio State University, was shocked and saddened Monday after receiving a sub-par mid-semester evaluation ...

Professor Theodore L. Chaptman, a well-known professor at the university, announced that he will be publishing a book.The book, on the same subject that ...