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elementary school

Pedophile Nervous For First Day Of School

ISSUE 44•35 | 08.31.08 | News

SEATTLE—"I hope the kids at Hampstead Elementary like me," 37-year-old Howard Dengal said. "It'd be nice to have someone to play with during recess." more»
Superintendent Draws Up 'Dream School Board' Of All-Time Greats

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.23.08 | News

BROWNSVILLE, IN—Peter Geyer passed on legend Frank Caldwell, saying his reputation was more based on mystique when his plane crashed after only one year on the board. more»
Only Jewish Kid In Class Asked To Talk About Holocaust Remembrance Day

ISSUE 43•16 | 04.17.07 | News in Brief

KIRKLAND, WA—In honor of Holocaust Remembrance Day, 11-year-old Bobby Schwartz, the only Jewish student in Mrs. Yost's fifth grade class,... more»
Fatal School Bus Crash Cements BFF Status

ISSUE 43•15 | 04.11.07 | News in Photos
Spelling-Bee Winner Fails To Spell Way Out Of Schoolyard Beating

ISSUE 43•15 | 04.09.07 | Radio News
Misbehavior Linked To Day Care

ISSUE 43•13 | 03.29.07 | American Voices

A recent study showed that children who attended day care for a year or longer were more likely to be disruptive in grade school. What do you... more»
Student Pulls All-Nighter For 'What Does Thanksgiving Mean To You' Assignment

ISSUE 42•47 | 11.21.06 | Radio News
Burned Kid Ruins Hydrochloric Acid For Everyone Else

ISSUE 42•33 | 08.16.06 | Radio News
Area Senior Suspects Grandchild's Visit Just Some Sort Of Class Assignment

ISSUE 42•30 | 07.21.06 | News

UNIONVILLE, MO—Eugenia Stollis is convinced Toby is getting extra credit for the surprise house call. more»
Hall Monitor Ready To Talk Deal

ISSUE 42•21 | 05.26.06 | Radio News
Perfect Attendance Credited To Abusive Household

ISSUE 42•10 | 03.06.06 | News in Brief

VIROQUA, WI—The staff of Viroqua Middle School credit seventh grader Ben Lohm's perfect attendance to his family, particularly his alcoholic... more»
Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus

ISSUE 42•04 | 01.25.06 | News

NEWPORT NEWS, VA—Despite its truncated length and shoestring budget, the production stayed true to Peter Shaffer's original psychosexual-nightmare play. more»
Alcoholic Kindergarten Teacher Stretches Naptime To Three Hours

ISSUE 41•49 | 12.07.05 | News in Brief

IRVING, TX—Following a tiring weekend, kindergarten teacher and self-described "party girl" Jeanie Rigby, 29, extended the naptime at Irving KinderKare to three hours Monday. more»
Cases Of Glitter Lung On The Rise Among Elementary-School Art Teachers

ISSUE 41•47 | 11.23.05 | News

CHICAGO—The classroom disease is characterized by a lack of creative energy and twinkly, reflective mucus. more»
Third-Grade Slumber Party A Snakepit Of Machiavellian Alliances

ISSUE 41•42 | 10.19.05 | News in Photos
Skeleton Of Mayan Nerd Dug From Prehistoric Locker

ISSUE 41•40 | 10.05.05 | News in Brief

ALTUN HA, BELIZE—Archaeologists discovered an obsidian locker containing the skeleton of an ancient Mayan nerd, believed to have been forced... more»
September 18, 1954

ISSUE 41•38 | 09.21.05 | History

Gum In Our Schools!Children As Young As 10 Carrying Sticks To Class more»
Missing Boy Scout Earns Publicity Badge

ISSUE 41•31 | 08.03.05 | News in Brief

KAMAS, UT—Boy Scout Brennan Hawkins, 11, who received national media coverage after he wandered off during his troop's June camping trip in the Utah... more»
Eighth-Grader Hasn't Missed A '69' Joke Opportunity All Year

ISSUE 41•23 | 06.08.05 | News in Brief

LEBANON, PA—According to Lebanon Central Middle School staff, Mike Eichstadt, 14, leapt on every possible occasion to make a "69" joke during the entirety of his eighth-grade year. "If a teacher said 'Turn to page 69' or a classmate got a 69 on a quiz, Mike Eichstadt was there with a smirk and a quip," principal Melanie Reinke said. "Sometimes, Mike only needed to be asked a question involving a number—such as 'How many years did Ford serve as president?'—to make a '69' joke." Despite his aptitude for "69" jokes, Eichstadt received a D in math. more»
Fifth-Grade Science Paper Doesn't Stand Up To Peer Review

ISSUE 41•16 | 04.20.05 | News

DECATUR, IL—A three-member panel of 10-year-old Michael Nogroski's fellow classmates at Nathaniel Macon Elementary School unanimously agreed Tuesday that his 327-word essay "Otters" did not meet the requirements for peer approval. more»
Seminal School-Portrait Photographer Dies At 92

ISSUE 40•36 | 09.08.04 | News

PHOENIX—Henry Anszczak, the photographer whose influential work revolutionized modern school portraiture, died Sunday at his family home in Eloy. He was 92. more»
Kids In Bus Accident Mocked By Kids In Passing Bus

ISSUE 40•09 | 03.03.04 | News in Photos
Entire Fourth-Grade Class Hates Jeremy Halcote

ISSUE 39•34 | 09.03.03 | News

MUNCIE, IN—The entire fourth-grade class, everyone from Ashley Amberson to Corey Zoellner, hates Jeremy Halcote, sources at John Tyler Elementary School revealed Tuesday. more»
Rich First-Grader Buys Whole Sheet Of Gold Stars

ISSUE 39•08 | 03.05.03 | News in Brief

BREMERTON, WA—Lakeside Elementary first-grader Max Carr, son of Boeing CEO Robert Carr, used a small portion of his $100 weekly allowance Monday to buy himself a sheet of the gold stars used to reward academic achievement. "I don't get why all the kids work so hard to get good grades just for a sticker," Carr said. "I only got a C-minus on my phonics homework, but Mommy took me to the mall, and now I have 10 gold stars—more than anybody in the whole class." Carr said his "dumb classmates have no idea" that students can simply purchase a sheet of "Great Job!" Mickey Mouse stickers at a store. more»
Teacher Bitches About Paycheck To Sixth-Grade Class

ISSUE 38•43 | 11.20.02 | News in Brief

BOZEMAN, MT—Lakecrest Elementary School teacher Dana Frankel bitched to her sixth-graders about her "crap salary" shortly after receiving a paycheck Monday. "How am I supposed to pay for anything on this kind of income?" asked Frankel midway through a math lesson. "And now the brake pads on my Nissan need replacing. Gee, guess I'll just have to hope for the best next time I hit a red light." Frankel then got the disrupted lesson back on track by using her dwindling 401K plan as an example of negative numbers. more»
Second-Grade Teacher Overhyping Third Grade

ISSUE 38•41 | 11.06.02 | News

BERWICK, PA—April Niles, a second-grade teacher at Benjamin Franklin Elementary School, is constantly overhyping the third grade, warning her students that "expectations will be very different next year." more»
Sixth-Grader's Family Tree Fails To Hold Up To Scrutiny

ISSUE 38•29 | 08.14.02 | News in Brief

CALVERTON, MD—Sixth-grader Adam Jones' family tree, assigned recently as homework, fails to hold up to scrutiny, social-studies teacher Gwen Wexler reported Monday. "I'm a little skeptical of Adam's claim that he's descended from [movie star] Vin Diesel," Wexler said. "There's also something suspicious about his tracing his mother's lineage to Cal Ripken Jr." Wexler expressed further doubts about Jones' claim that he is related to actor James Earl Jones by way of "the Zimbabwe Joneses." more»
Buddy System Responsible For Additional Death

ISSUE 38•29 | 08.14.02 | News in Photos

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Slumber-Party Confession Comes Back To Haunt Fourth Grader

ISSUE 38•16 | 05.01.02 | News

HAMPTON, VA—A late-night slumber-party confession has come back to haunt Jessica Casper, the betrayed and humiliated 10-year-old reported Monday. more»
Bush Earmarks 1.5 Billion Gold Stars For Education

ISSUE 43•01 ISSUE 38•04 | 02.06.02 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Vowing to give the nation's public schools "a much-needed boost," President Bush announced Monday that his 2003 budget proposal would allocate 1.5 billion gold-star stickers for education. more»