Entertainment
C-SPAN Courts Viewers With 'Mr. Slotnik,' Congress' Cantankerous Landlord
WASHINGTON, DC—Citing lackluster ratings in an increasingly competitive cable market, C-SPAN announced Monday that it will beef up the cast of characters on its ...
Crash Pulled From Theaters Following Real-Life Car Crash
OVERLAND PARK, KS—In what highway safety personnel are calling "a chilling example of cinema come to life," David Cronenberg's Crash was pulled from ...
Federal Court Orders Cosmopolitan To Reveal Beauty Secrets
WASHINGTON, DC—Following a federal grand jury injunction Tuesday, the editors of Cosmopolitan have been ordered to turn over classified documents revealing top-level beauty secrets ...
High-Definition Television Promises Sharper Crap
WASHINGTON, DC—In the most dramatic leap in television technology since the advent of color in the 1950s, on Monday the FCC approved a 10-year ...
Bad To The Bone To Be Used In Film
HOLLYWOOD, CA—In an inspired act of film soundtracking, Paramount Pictures announced Tuesday that its forthcoming family comedy Twerps will feature the rock song "Bad ...
Barry White De-Euphemized
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the music of '70s R&B love man Barry White to be de-euphemized Monday. According to the ...
'Must-See TV' Now Enforced By Law
WASHINGTON, DC—On Monday, President Clinton signed into law the much-discussed "Must-See TV" bill, which requires all Americans to watch NBC's Thursday-night prime-time line-up ...
Notorious R.I.P.
The Notorious B.I.G. was shot to death last week, almost six months to the day after fellow "gangsta" rapper Tupac Shakur was killed ...
Fox Defends Airing Of When Jews Attack
LOS ANGELES—In the face of widespread public outcry, Fox TV executives spoke out Monday in defense of last week's airing of When Jews ...
Hollywood Rehashed
With the Star Wars trilogy a monster hit at the box office, Hollywood is now planning an entire wave of re-released blockbusters. What impact will ...
Leno Begs Simpson To Kill Again
BURBANK, CA—In an impassioned, nationally televised plea Monday, a teary-eyed Jay Leno begged O.J. Simpson to commit more murders.
Pile Of Crap Excites Publicist
NEW YORK—Thomas Hill, publicist for the Scarsdale & Loeb Group, expressed his excitement over a great big pile of crap Thursday. "I'm really excited ...
Members Of U2 To Stare In Different Directions
DUBLIN—In what many record- industry insiders are calling a return to the band's mid-'80s prime, members of U2 announced Monday plans to ...
Star Wars Fever
Twenty years after its original release, Star Wars is once again a box-office smash. Why is everyone flocking to see Star Wars?
















