Suburban Dad Cracks Wise In Church Parking Lot
STEVENS POINT, WI—Flashing his trademark wit, dermatologist and father of three Gil Schlerek amused onlookers in the parking lot of Christ Presbyterian Church by ...
Featured Section: Family
Father Bitter That Son Has Everything He Never Had
WICHITA, KS—Local pharmacist Ed Raschi, 52, admitted Monday that he is occasionally bitter that his son Brandon has everything he never had growing up.
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Described To Sioux City Relatives
FL, attempted to convey the taste, texture, and general deliciousness of Krispy Kreme doughnuts to their Sioux City relatives. "They're doughnuts, but not, like ...
Parent Mad 6-Year-Old Didn't Like Peanuts Special
ROSE HILL, VA—Bruce Pillard, 34, was angered Tuesday over his 6-year-old daughter's indifferent reaction to A Charlie Brown Christmas. "That show is a ...
Family Now Openly Wondering When Grandma Will Die
ATHENS, GA—After years of silent speculation, Trotter family members openly wondered Monday when ailing family matriarch Helen Trotter would die. "I'd say sometime ...
Mom Uses Full Name To Refer To Bisquick Impossibly Easy Cheeseburger Pie™
HICKORY, NC— Inviting her family to dig in to dinner Monday, Donna Furness, 41, referred to the meal by its full, trademarked name. "Who's ...
Privileged Children Of Millionaires Square Off On World Stage
WASHINGTON, DC—After nearly two weeks of heavy, sustained air strikes, President Bush made final preparations Monday for a full-scale U.S. ground assault against ...
Dad Immediately Hands Phone To Mom
SAGINAW, MI—Emotionally distant father Bill Wolk, 55, immediately handed the phone to his wife Monday upon identifying the caller as his daughter. "Oh, hello ...
Closeted Father Lives Vicariously Through Gay Son
BOSTON—Having hidden in the closet his entire life, homosexual Neil Pivarnik, 47, lives vicariously through his openly gay son Jeff.
Nepotism Passed Off As Synergy
WHITEHOUSE STATION, NJ–The hiring of Adam Dwyer by Merck Pharmaceutical was described Monday by CEO James Dwyer as "tremendously synergistic." "With his impressive range ...
Bush Picks Up 20 Copies Of Washington Post He's In
WASHINGTON, DC–President Bush made a special trip to his local newsstand Monday to purchase 20 copies of that day's Washington Post, the cover ...
Mom Brought To Tears By Thing Picked Up At Airport
COLUMBIA, MO—Joan Hadler wept tears of joy over a cheap, last-minute present bought at an airport gift shop.
Area Father Must Have Read Some Drug-Slang Brochure Or Something
DECATUR, GA–Rodney Dunbar, a 46-year-old civil engineer and father of two, "must have read some drug-slang pamphlet or something," his children reported Monday.
Navy Admiral Considers Death Of Son Within Acceptable Loss Range
SAN DIEGO–At a Monday press conference from the steps of his home, Navy Admiral William McManus categorized the death of his son in a ...
Fifth Level Of Video Game Reached During Phone Call To Mom
LONGMONT, CO–While speaking on the phone with his mother Monday, Sega Dreamcast enthusiast Jon Grebe, 22, defeated Sarge to reach the fifth level of ...
Repressed Molestation Memory Not What It Was Built Up To Be
WEEHAWKEN, NJ–After 22 months of therapy, Kathy Stebbins' long-repressed childhood memory of sexual abuse at the hands of her uncle finally surfaced Tuesday in ...
Everything A Goddamn Ordeal In Area Family
HUNTINGTON, WV–Absolutely everything, from ordering a pizza to going out to the movies, has to be a huge goddamn ordeal for the Flemings, father ...
New Parents Desperately Seeking Other New Parents For Socializing
BETHESDA, MD–New parents David and Diane Huber, both 28, remain locked in a desperate search for other parents with whom they can talk exclusively ...
