EDINA, MN–Jim Gustafson, a 33-year-old Edina sales manager, is winning widespread acclaim for helping to raise his own children.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ–"Mommy, Woofers is lonely out there in the doghouse! He wants to come in and play!" says attention-starved Billy Tobin, 10.

ST. LOUIS–According to 4-year-old Ashley Theiss, Mommy is not moving. Mommy, a 36-year-old St. Louis-area pretty lady, has reportedly been sleeping on the dining-room ...

BUTLER, PA—According to Courtney and Brady Leuchter, their new mommy doesn't even make them turn off the Nintendo.

SCRANTON, PA–Jodi Eckhardt, 15, and her mother Colleen covertly communicated a top-secret menses-related message across the dinner table Monday, averting the suspicion of the ...

BELVIDERE, IL—According to local residents, there's been a lot less killing since old Dale Stemke passed on.

NEWARK, NJ—Six years of familial neglect netted longtime Prudential Insurance employee Walt Arness a major promotion to national vice-president of accounting Monday. "Well done ...

DARLINGTON, SC—According to loud reports from within the Kaminsky household Tuesday, if area father Russell Kaminsky steps on one more goddamn Lego, man, forget ...

SAN PEDRO, CA—William Conroy, a 43-year-old San Pedro-area pappy, was driven to alcoholism by his 17-year-old son's reckless Hot Rod Lincoln driving, Conroy ...

WASHINGTON, DC—A confused President Clinton tearfully announced Monday that he was molested by his uncle Carl.

MINNEAPOLIS—Dick Donovan has been forced to miss work for the sixth time in eight months following the tragic passing of "Grandma Melissa."

BROWNSVILLE, TX—Despite deep, irreconcilable differences that might have led to divorce for other married couples, Clint and Carol Colson have managed to keep their ...

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Friends and family of Russell Tonelli are expressing a "creepy sort of unease" at the distinct visual similarities between the 33-year-old Grand ...

GALESBURG, IL—Area mother of three Mary Kleibert, 54, was once again freaking out for no reason Tuesday, sources within the Kleibert family reported.

ATHENS, GA—Anger, shock, and feelings of intense awkwardness were just some of the reactions in the Helstein household Tuesday as Jeremy Helstein, 46, scolded ...

HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA—Area resident Doug Spengler was taken aback Friday when acquaintance and fellow partygoer Dianne Liston casually mentioned to him that she was ...

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Losing Connect Four player Tony Franck denounced his sis as "pretty sneaky" following her diagonal connection of four during a kitchen-table match Tuesday ...

HOLMDEL, NJ—Suzanne Glauber's life became complete when her whining, grubby son Dakota was born.