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    Featured Section: Family

    Lawyer Urged By Mother To Include Younger Brother In Murder Trial

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•08 • Feb 21, 2013
    BOSTON—According to family sources, 35-year-old defense attorney Mark Chaote received a call from his mother Thursday asking him to include his younger brother Jeremy ...

    Unpopular Kid Having Trouble Fitting In At Home

    News • ISSUE 49•07 • Feb 13, 2013
    SCHAUMBURG, IL—Facing an unending string of emotional, verbal, and physical abuses from his peers, sources confirmed Monday that local youth Nathan Meserole is reportedly ...

    Woman Has Bizarre Ability To Share Details About Personal Life With Parents

    News • ISSUE 48•33 • Aug 18, 2012
    PHILADELPHIA—Seated in the kitchen of her tastefully decorated apartment, local woman Jessica Beaumont looks the part of a typical young urbanite navigating life in ...

    Brother-In-Law's Latest Money-Making Scheme Involves Starting PGA Championship Golf Course

    Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 48•30 • Jul 22, 2012
    TOLEDO—Local brother-in-law Steven Foster, 32, revealed a new money-making scheme at a family gathering Thursday, a proposal to start a PGA championship golf course ...

    Area Dad Points Out Place That Has Great Reuben Sandwiches

    'You Like Reubens, Right?' Father Inquires

    News in Brief • ISSUE 48•29 • Jul 20, 2012
    AGOURA HILLS, CA—Noting that they really hit the spot, local dad Peter Barry pointed out a restaurant that serves really good Reuben sandwiches during ...

    'You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,' All Man Thinking During Dinner With Parents

    News • ISSUE 48•29 • Jul 19, 2012
    CHICAGO—During dinner with his visiting parents at the Italian eatery Prosecco last Saturday, the only thing 29-year-old Eric Kauffman could think about was that ...

    Report: Dad Proud Of You; He Won't Say It, But It's True

    News in Brief • ISSUE 48•25 • Jun 17, 2012
    WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Sunday by the Pew Research Center, even though he doesn't always show it and certainly never says ...

    Herculean Effort, Astronomical Expense Lead To Photo Of Whole Family At Disney World

    News in Brief • ISSUE 48•24 • Jun 12, 2012
    ORLANDO, FL—A Sisyphean, continent-spanning voyage and the depletion of six years of savings at long last resulted this Tuesday in a single photograph of ...

    Needy Mom Calling With Birthday Wishes

    Newswire • ISSUE 48•22 • May 29, 2012
    Needy Mom Calling With Birthday Wishes

    Study Finds Owning Cool Leather Jacket More Rewarding Than Raising Children

    News in Brief • ISSUE 48•11 • Mar 15, 2012
    SEATTLE—A study released Thursday by the Pacific Parenting Institute found that owning a seriously cool leather jacket is significantly more fulfilling than raising a ...

    Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick

    War For The White House • ISSUE 48•09 • Mar 1, 2012
    An emotional Rick Santorum stepped up his anti-gay rhetoric this week, saying jerks like Philadelphia's Nicholas Wiseman should not be allowed to marry a ...

    Terrible Father Gets That Promotion

    Newswire • ISSUE 47•41 • Oct 15, 2011
    Terrible Father Gets That Promotion

    Hellmann's Heir's Conduct Unbefitting Of Mayonnaise Empire

    Radio News • ISSUE 47•37 • Sep 30, 2011

    Family Relieved To Hear Good Grandma Didn't Die

    News in Brief • ISSUE 47•47 ISSUE 47•36 • Sep 9, 2011
    KEENE, NH—After enduring a temporary moment of heartbreak upon hearing their grandmother had died in her sleep the previous night, children of the Sullivan ...

    4-Year-Old’s Optimism Just Making Things Worse For Area Family

    News in Brief • ISSUE 47•36 • Sep 3, 2011
    MARION, AR—Though intended to cheer up family members, the unflagging optimism of 4-year-old Shelby Cooper has served only to exacerbate the financial stress her ...

    Confused Texas Father Forces Son To Hit Ping Pong Ball Through Tire

    Sports Newswire • ISSUE 47•47 • Jul 20, 2011
    Confused Texas Father Forces Son To Hit Ping Pong Ball Through Tire

    Obama's Aunt Sends Him Article Mentioning United States

    News in Brief • ISSUE 47•47 ISSUE 47•24 • Jun 16, 2011
    KALONA, IA—According to family sources, Barack Obama's aunt Claudia, 79, mailed a letter to the president Monday that included a short note and ...

    Justin Verlander Doesn’t Bother Telling Parents Difference Between No-Hitter And Perfect Game

    Sports News • ISSUE 47•47 ISSUE 47•19 • May 13, 2011
    DETROIT—Following a phone call home Monday, Tigers starting pitcher Justin Verlander said that he hadn’t even bothered to explain the difference between a ...

    Other Family In Restaurant Really Living It Up

    Newswire • ISSUE 47•47 • Apr 30, 2011
    Other Family In Restaurant Really Living It Up

    Conjoined Twin Hogging Kidney

    Radio News • ISSUE 47•16 • Apr 27, 2011
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