Fast food
Shady New Wendy's Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions Asked
The fast-food chain has rolled out a suspicious new promotion selling five hamburgers for zero dollars.
Mother Of Three Drowns Own Fries In Ketchup
Mother Of Three Drowns Own Fries In Ketchup
Wendy's Wants Consumers To Know It's Fine With Gays, Disapproves Of Interracial Marriage
DUBLIN, OH—Responding to Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy's recent controversial admission of the company's donations to antigay groups, a statement from competing fast ...
Chick-Fil-A Debuts New Homophobic Sandwich
'Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu' Goes On Sale Wednesday
ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain announced today the debut of its ...
Memphis Airport Panda Express Takes Over As Nation's Most Depressing Place
MEMPHIS, TN—With its combination of flickering fluorescent lights, seats facing a Delta security checkpoint, and day-old lo mein noodles sticking to its teal-colored tiled ...
'Arby's Has Been Putting More Onion Bits On Their Buns,' Reports Man Sinking Into Heavy Depression
KANSAS CITY—According to local Patrick Johnson, the amount of crunchy onion bits baked into Arby's sandwich buns seems to have increased somewhat recently ...
McDonald's Is Hiring
On Tuesday, McDonald's held a National Hiring Day in which people across the country lined up to fill the planned 50,000 positions the ...
McDonald's Nixes Cage-Free Eggs
The board of McDonald's has come out against a proposal that would require the restaurant to obtain 5 percent of its eggs from cage-free ...
Burger King Looks Open
SCHAUMBURG, IL—Sources from within the car driving slowly past the Burger King at Roselle and Hartford report that, despite the late hour,...
Nation's Fast Food Patrons No Longer Trusted To Dispense Own Ketchup
WASHINGTON—"We tried to treat our customers like adults, and they took advantage of our generosity," said Burger King CEO Brian Thomas Swette, who was ...
McDonald's Abandons Iceland
Iceland's three McDonald's locations are closing because of the collapse of the island nation's currency. What do you think?
Television, Processed Foods Couldn't Be More Proud Of Child They Raised
CHICAGO—"We're just so proud of Brian and everything he's failed to accomplish in his largely sedentary and insipid life," said ABC president ...
Area Man To Hang Out At McDonald's For 20 Minutes Until Lunch Menu Goes Up
ERIE, PA—"The girl at the counter said I could still get breakfast if I wanted, but 10:40's too late for breakfast." said ...












