Super Bowl XLVI Preview Guide
The Super Bowl is almost here, and no fan can afford to be without the Onion Sports guide to the game's most crucial personnel.
Football
College Football Signing Day
As Signing Day approaches, Onion Sports analysts break down the nation's top prep prospects.
Super Bowl XLVI
It's Super Bowl time, and our analysts have methodically outlined what the Pats and Giants have to do so that fans don't feel ...
Eli Manning Asks Peyton If He Can Crash At His Place
INDIANAPOLIS—Pointing out that Peyton has a big house in Indianapolis and that they never hang out together anymore, Eli Manning approached his brother Friday ...
Football Fans Excited To Watch Patriots Or Giants Lose Super Bowl
Reggie tries not to agree with Doc as they discuss the soon-to-be Super Bowl losers, who the hell Marco Scutaro is, and Tom Coughlin’s ...
Offensive Lineman Uses Expressive Poetry To Deeply Move Linebacker
Offensive Lineman Uses Expressive Poetry To Deeply Move Linebacker
Packers Fans Relieved To Have More Time To Explore All That Green Bay Has To Offer This Winter
Packers Fans Relieved To Have More Time To Explore All That Green Bay Has To Offer This Winter
Eli Manning
He has one Super Bowl ring and has led his team to another NFC Championship Game, but many still aren't ready to call Eli ...
Baltimore Ravens Admit They Like The Ugly Wins
BALTIMORE—Reflecting on a 12-4 season that showcased their gritty, brash, defense-first style, the Baltimore Ravens admitted Thursday that while everyone else chases the pretty ...
Tebow’s Defeat Restores Nation’s Faith In God
Doc and Kenny give us each other hell as Tim Tebow's defeat has millions flocking to God, while the Yankees act like paupers and ...
Extra Point Probably Would Have Been Good From 65 Yards, Claims Announcer
Extra Point Probably Would Have Been Good From 65 Yards, Claims Announcer
Alex Smith Boasts 49ers Have What It Takes To Win Despite Him
The forecast for this GOOMF is cloudy with a chance of a bragging Alex Smith, smiling Tom Coughlin, and lame-ass Bernie Williams.
Ray Lewis Announces 2011 Final Season Before Killing Younger Player, Inhabiting His Body
Ray Lewis Announces 2011 Final Season Before Killing Younger Player, Inhabiting His Body
Masochistic Record Wants To Be Broken Again
SAN FRANCISCO—Days after San Francisco 49ers kicker David Akers set the new single-season mark for field goals made, the masochistic record publicly stated its ...
NFL Coaches Admit It Sucks When You Have To Punt
It's Shitty Because You Don't Have The Ball Anymore, Coaches Say
NEW YORK—As the 2012 NFL playoffs begin, coaches across the league find themselves in agreement on one fundamental aspect of the game: Punting the ...
NFL Playoff Picture
It's playoff time in the NFL, and we've condensed our expert analysis of each team's chances into a handy capsule form.
Andrew Luck
The Heisman and a Fiesta Bowl victory may have eluded him, but Andrew Luck is still the consensus No.
Rex Ryan: 'Mark Sanchez Was Absolutely Our Quarterback This Year'
FLORHAM PARK, NJ—Though some in the Jets organization have expressed doubts about Mark Sanchez's role as the team's starting quarterback, head coach ...
