Timeline Of The War On Terror
0 AD–September 11, 2001: Everything fine
September 11, 2001: September 11, 2001
September 12, 2001: A determined George W. Bush responds to the Sept ...
Foreign Policy
China Announces Plans To Build International Space Prison
BEIJING—In a highly anticipated announcement that is being met with widespread enthusiasm by Chinese Communist Party officials across the country, the People’s Republic ...
Obama Sarcastically Asks How Israel Afforded Such A Great Missile Defense System
JERUSALEM—While touring Israel’s “Iron Dome” all-weather missile defense system Wednesday, President Barack Obama sarcastically asked Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu where he got all ...
'This Is A Pointless Trip,' Obama Says While Shaking Hands With Netanyahu
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL—Moments after stepping out from Air Force One Wednesday, President Barack Obama reportedly greeted Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu at Ben Gurion International ...
U.S. Signs Declaration Of Dependence On China
WASHINGTON—In what is certain to be regarded as a defining moment in the nation’s history, leading U.S. political figures gathered at the ...
George W. Bush Returns To America After Spending 4 Years In The Himalayas
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Garbed in unwashed robes and wearing a long, gray, wispy beard, former president George W.
Alien World To Help Out Syria Since This One Refuses To
IMPERIAL CITY, PLANET ZARKLOM 12—Frustrated by “the astonishing incapacity of earthlings to halt the rampant slaughter of their own kind” in Syria, the emperor ...
USSR Wins Space Race As U.S. Shuts Down Shuttle Program
MOSCOW, USSR—Less than a week after the return of the Atlantis orbiter marked the end of the U.S.
China Agrees To Erase Portion Of U.S. Debt If Americans Dress Up In Costumes And Perform Silly Dance For Them
BEIJING—In what it's describing as a magnanimous gesture toward an economy in decline, the Chinese government announced Monday it would forgive a portion ...
Clinton Declares Self President For Life
WASHINGTON, DC—Denouncing the American electoral process, Bill Clinton announced he will not leave his post.
Congress Passes 'America Is #1' Bill
WASHINGTON, DC—In yet another victory for America, the bill that makes its greatness official passed Congress Monday.
U.S. Breaks Off Relations With Chad
WASHINGTON, DC—President Clinton officially ended years of strained relations, severing U.S. ties with cab driver Chad Ratliff.
U.S. Ambassador To Bulungi Suspected Of Making Country Up
WASHINGTON, DC—After being unable to locate the West African nation in an atlas, President Clinton realized the country may not exist.
U.S. Offers PlatinumPlus Preferred Citizenship
WASHINGTON, DC—In an 86-14 vote, the Senate approved legislation Monday establishing PlatinumPlus Preferred citizenship, an exciting new program offering special benefits and discounts to ...
Byzantine Empire Will Fall To Turks, Historian Warns
ITHACA, NY—The Byzantine Empire, the Eastern continuation of the Roman Empire, is in grave danger and will soon fall to united armies of Ottoman ...
Clinton Adopts New 'No Fear' Foreign Policy
WASHINGTON, DC—In what observers are calling a "radically intense" move, President Clinton unveiled a new "No Fear" foreign policy approach Monday, stating that in ...
Perky 'Canada' Has Own Government, Laws
It’s Monday morning, and Toronto resident Steve Dorman shares a quick breakfast of “eggs” (a native food) with his “wife” (an officially state-sanctioned mate ...
