friends

  • 101 Ways To Drive Your Best Friend Wild

    ISSUE 48•03 | 01.20.12 | Sunday Magazine

  • Boy Scouts Celebrate Proud History Of Preparing Teens For Not Having Cool Friends

    ISSUE 48•01 | 01.05.12 | News in Brief

    IRVING, TX—At a gala event last weekend, the Boy Scouts of America celebrated its century-long legacy of preparing young men for lifetimes devoid of friendships with their cool, respected peers. more»

  • 'Get TiVo' Friend's Solution To Everything

    ISSUE 41•06 | 02.09.05 | News in Brief

    SANTA MONICA, CA—According to waiter and aspiring writer Ian Shortridge, his friend Dan Stavers has only one piece of advice: "Get TiVo." "You could program a Season Pass so that you never miss the business report," Stavers said, after Shortridge complained that he couldn't get a mortgage. "I'm telling you, TiVo will change your life. Hey, I was right about the iPod, wasn't I?" Since purchasing a digital-video recorder in 2002, Stavers has urged Shortridge to buy one so he can "spend more time writing instead of sitting through all those commercials," "tape some fitness shows and find out how to get in shape," and "catch some funny movies" to help him get over his father's death. more»

  • Friend Whose Mom Just Died Allowed to Pick Pizza Topping

    ISSUE 48•14 ISSUE 41•03 | 01.19.05 | News in Brief

    HYANNIS, NE—Because his mother died of cancer on Jan. 8, Jon Brendemuehl, 11, got to choose the pizza topping during a bowling outing with best friend Greg Weber and his family Monday. more»

  • Area Man Too Busy For His Buddy Phil, Eh?

    ISSUE 40•50 | 12.15.04 | News in Brief

    JEFFERSON CITY, MO—College chum Steve Maeske is apparently too busy to give his buddy Phil a quick ring, sources reported Monday. "Phil, honestly, you know I'd love to go out to help you celebrate your birthday," said Maeske, who's been like a ghost ever since he married that Veronica woman. "It's just that, with work and the new baby, I don't have a spare minute. Come on, you can understand, can't you?" Sources close to Maeske don't see why he can't go out for one damn beer. more»

  • Friend's Wife Reportedly Very Funny

    ISSUE 40•49 | 12.08.04 | News in Brief

    BILLINGS, MT—Accountant Carl Scoval told reporters Monday that, although he's heard that the wife of his coworker Tom Barton is hilarious, he's never had the opportunity to witness her sense of humor. "Tom is always saying how cool his wife Kim is, how she's always cracking these ironic jokes," Scoval said. "I guess she can cuss a blue streak, too. I don't know. Maybe someday I'll catch her in the act. Every time I've been around her, she's been pretty quiet." Scoval said he hears Kim can drink Barton under the table, as well. more»

  • Childhood Friend Stops Writing After Two E-mails

    ISSUE 40•48 | 12.01.04 | News in Brief

    LOUISVILLE, KY—David Krohl, 29, said Monday that his renewed contact with childhood friend Mike Bunge seems to have ended after two e-mails. "It was so cool to hear from my old locker buddy Mike!" Krohl said. "He sent me all these photos of his kids and told me he still thinks about me, and I sent him this big, long e-mail about my life. But now it's been two months since I've heard from him. Ah, well, glad to hear he's doing well." Krohl said that, though it was great to reconnect with his old friend, it's unlikely he'll fly to Fargo, ND for Bunge's 30th birthday in January as planned. more»

  • Shy Friend Experimenting With Personality

    ISSUE 40•44 | 11.03.04 | News in Brief

    DUBUQUE, IA—Bashful Clark College sophomore Mandy Schumacher, 20, has spent the last month unsuccessfully trying to forge a personality from scratch, friends of Schumacher said Monday. "She's been introverted for so long that she just doesn't have a clue how to present herself to the world," Schumacher's roommate Krista Vezmer said. "One day she's, like, expounding on the modern ramifications of the Civil War, and the next, she's dancing on tables at Noonan's during Happy Hour." Vezmer added that she thinks Schumacher should stick with mousy. more»

  • Frank Zappa Fan Thinks You Just Haven't Heard The Right Album

    ISSUE 40•14 | 04.07.04 | News in Brief

    NEDERLAND, CO—In spite of your insistence that you are not into Frank Zappa, avid fan Roger Von Lee believes that you would change your mind if you heard the right album. "You're prejudiced, because the only Zappa you know is 'Valley Girl' and 'Don't Eat The Yellow Snow,'" Von Lee told you Tuesday. "Seriously, you need to check out Hot Rats or Absolutely Free. Zappa and the Mothers were at their peak, and Zappa's jazz-rock fusion experiments predate Bitches Brew. That'll totally convince you that Zappa's the shit." Von Lee added that if those two don't get under your skin, he can recommend another 15 to 20 albums that will for sure. more»

  • Breakup Secretly Hilarious To Friends

    ISSUE 39•38 | 10.01.03 | News

    ATHENS, GA—The inevitable breakup of Henry Loemer and Frieda Jaynes, which occurred publicly on Sept. 25, left almost a dozen local residents secretly amused Monday. more»

  • Asshole Even Shoots Pool Like An Asshole

    ISSUE 39•01 | 01.15.03 | News in Brief

    MONTROSE, CA—According to acquaintances, area asshole Kris Stenstrup, 31, even shoots pool like an asshole. "He's not even good, but he still acts all macho and cool, like he's Minnesota Fats or something," roommate Lisa Darmont said Monday. "Like, whenever he sinks a shot, he blows on his pool cue and then puts it back in its invisible holster. Oh, and he loves to play 'mind games' with his 'prey,' hovering over them and whispering 'Don't be nervous' before they shoot." Darmont added that Stenstrup is also fond of singing Warren Zevon's "Werewolves Of London," from the 1986 billiards-themed film The Color Of Money, while cockily circling the table. more»

  • Architect's Friends All Have Great Idea For A Building

    ISSUE 38•13 | 04.10.02 | News

    SAN DIEGO— Friends and acquaintances of Phil Yost are constantly giving him ideas for buildings, the 40-year-old architect said Monday. "I was catching up with my old college roommate, who I hadn't spoken to in years, and he blurts out, 'What if you built a revolving hotel like they have revolving restaurants?'" Yost said. "Do you know how many times I've gotten that?" In the past month, Yost has heard pitches for pyramid-shaped warehouses, retractable-roof golf courses, and 100-story, subterranean "groundscrapers" that would be impervious to terrorist attack. more»

  • Loft Discussed At Loft Party

    ISSUE 38•12 | 04.03.02 | News in Brief

    CHICAGO—Guests at David and Jill Holman's loft party last Saturday spent the bulk of the four-hour affair discussing various aspects of the loft, including its location, square footage, rent, division of space, acoustics, and previous use. more»

  • Work Friends Not Mingling With Other Friends

    ISSUE 38•06 | 02.20.02 | News

    CHICAGO—Following a party celebrating her 26th birthday Saturday, a disappointed Kristin Thennes reported that her friends from work failed to mingle with her other friends. more»

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan

“Why should everyone in Pakistan have to suffer for one doctor’s foolish decision to rid the nation of a mass murderer?”

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