BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Children who do not receive corrective cosmetic surgery before puberty run a serious self-esteem risk "from which they may never recover," claims ...
SAN FRANCISCO—In a tragic case of pain-reliever brand choice gone wrong, Gus Farber, an assistant sales-team project coordinator with the marketing firm of Integrated ...
BOSTON—With new AIDS cases on the decline for the fourth straight year and the disease in danger of losing millions of dollars in federal ...
GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Dr. James Munson, known to millions as the infamous "vehicular manslaughter doctor," participated in his 23rd doctor-assisted vehicular manslaughter Monday, running over ...
WINSTON-SALEM, NC—As part of the most severe federal restrictions ever placed on the tobacco industry, Congress on Monday ordered cigarette manufacturers to pay restitution ...
LANGLEY, VA—After months of eager anticipation within the nation's ghetto communities, the Central Intelligence Agency unveiled its 1998 line of addictive drugs Monday.
WASHINGTON, DC—Alzheimer's sufferers marched on random buildings throughout Washington, demanding more bread in the laundry.
DETROIT—Paralysis and violent decapitations contributed to the recall of all automobiles containing neckbelts.
EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ—At a press conference Monday, Peter Cafazzo, CEO of Brunley-Hunt Pharmaceuticals (BHP), introduced his company's latest anti-depressant, Cyntrex, a product he ...
WASHINGTON, DC—In his most strongly worded pronouncement yet, Surgeon General J. Putnam Andrews issued a stern warning to all U.S. citizens Monday that ...
STOCKHOLM—The new category honors outstanding achievement in the areas of upper abs, lower abs, and obliques.
PURCHASE, NY—Taco Bell’s new burrito will prevent unwanted pregnancies if ingested within 36 hours following intercourse.
PALO ALTO, CA—According to a report released Monday by Stanford's Institute For Psychotherapeutic Study, depression, America's leading mental illness, hits losers worse ...
WASHINGTON, DC—Though already extremely painful, the physical sensation of pain will become markedly greater in the coming months, continuing to rise exponentially throughout 1997 ...
WINSTON, NC—The Tobacco Institute proved conclusively that an average-looking nobody becomes a really cool guy, simply by sitting near a smoker.
METROPOLIS—In a transformation that has baffled nuclear physicists and gynecologists alike, an area woman recently gained superhuman powers through an accidental radioactive yeast infection.
In what has been called the largest gastrointestinal rescue effort in history, the United Nations allocated $1.2 billion in antacid relief yesterday for the ...
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Advertising executives say they have hit upon an ingenious new way to target blacks: Mount a campaign that co-opts their own language and ...
SCOTSDALE, AZ—Georgette McHue, a Scotsdale-area uptight matron, enjoyed a handful of colorful pills yesterday, swallowing them down after dinner with a glass of water.
Lagos—The major cholera outbreak that has ravaged the Nigerian city of Lagos and surrounding rural villages has many Americans feeling very glad they do ...
