Stanley Cup Shot 11 Times During Chicago Blackhawks Victory Parade
CHICAGO—Over the course of the 45-minute victory parade held Friday morning to celebrate the Chicago Blackhawks’ NHL championship, the Stanley Cup sustained nearly a ...
Hockey
Chicago Blackhawks Relatively Silence Boston Fans
BOSTON—In a thrilling conclusion to the NHL Finals, the Chicago Blackhawks defeated the Boston Bruins in Game 6 of the championship series Monday night ...
Greatest Moments In Stanley Cup Finals History
With the Stanley Cup Finals underway, Onion Sports examines highlights from the 120-year-old NHL championship series.
Gary Bettman Wondering If He Really Has To Attend Every Game Of Stanley Cup Finals
NEW YORK—With the Stanley Cup finals quickly approaching, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman told reporters Monday that he’s starting to wonder if he actually ...
John Tortorella Pacing Around Penn Station Screaming At Total Strangers To Clear Puck Into Neutral Zone
NEW YORK—According to confused onlookers inside Penn Station, recently fired New York Rangers head coach John Tortorella is currently wandering around the major rail ...
Report: NHL Actually Has Had Hundreds Of Openly Gay Players For Years
NEW YORK—In the wake of NBA center Jason Collins and U.S. soccer midfielder Robbie Rogers coming out as homosexual, reports revealed Friday that ...
Eliminated Canucks Excited To Spend Time With Ice Families
VANCOUVER—Though disappointed to exit the Stanley Cup playoffs in the first round, Vancouver Canucks players and coaches told reporters on Monday that they looked ...
Stephen A. Smith's Dismissive Attitude Toward Hockey Gets People To Like Hockey
NEW YORK—ESPN analyst Stephen A. Smith recently made several dismissive remarks about ice hockey this week, causing Americans across the country to flock to ...
Return Of NHL Season Reignites Exciting Sidney Crosby Vs. Cranial Fluid Buildup Rivalry
NEW YORK—With the NHL season set to finally begin after a prolonged labor dispute, sources confirmed Friday that the league’s return has reignited ...
'04-'05 NHL Lockout Enters Ninth Year
NEW YORK—A little less than a decade ago, hockey fans were blessed with a slate of games every night, but on Thursday sources confirmed ...
Gary Bettman Surprised By Popularity Of NHL Lockout
NEW YORK—As labor talks between team owners and the NHL Players’ Association enter their fifth straight week, league commissioner Gary Bettman announced Monday that ...
Doctors: Sidney Crosby Has Greatly Improved Ability To Hide Concussion Symptoms Lately
PITTSBURGH—A team of specialists helping Pittsburgh Penguins center Sidney Crosby to recover from multiple concussions announced Thursday that the All-Star has dramatically improved his ...
NHL Gives Kings List Of Things Stanley Cup Is Allergic To
LOS ANGELES—Moments after the Kings took turns hoisting the Stanley Cup in celebration of their championship victory Monday, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman gave the ...
Jonathan Quick
The Stanley Cup is usually about goaltending, and Los Angeles goalie Jonathan Quick has been playing at an almost supernaturally high level for the Kings.
Phoenix Coyotes Pretend Homeless Drifters At Greyhound Bus Station Are Fans Welcoming Team Home
PHOENIX—Upon returning from their elimination from the Western Conference Finals Tuesday, the Phoenix Coyotes convinced themselves that the homeless drifters occupying the Greyhound bus ...
