DEARBORN, MI—In a shocking revelation that has rocked Thomas E. Dewey High School, sources in Mrs. Trimble’s third-period English class are now confirming ...

Jim and Tracy go undercover in fat suits to find out how greedy, obnoxious, fat people are discriminated against by the public. 

ENCINITAS, CA—In a completely inconsequential event that has already captured the imaginations of thousands, amateur sailor Michael Gilmer, 29, announced Monday he would be ...

CHICAGO—Following various incidents in which they stumbled, got distracted, or simply lost their grip, thousands of dopes across the country announced Friday that they ...

NEW YORK—Pfizer spokesman Vincent Martin announced that the company had achieved a major personal breakthrough Monday by finally summoning the courage and confidence to ...

A study of 326 black women revealed that a quarter of them were suffering from baldness that may be linked to hairstyles that tug at ...

JACKSONVILLE, FL—"It was nice to get some chores out of the way," Terry Oberlin told reporters later, acknowledging that for more than half an ...

NEW YORK—According to a report published Tuesday by the Center for the Study of Goddamn Fucking Shames, 96 percent of the nation's sorry...

11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.

WASHINGTON—In an effort to combat what organizers are calling "our current epidemic of complete and utter obliviousness," the American Foundation for Paying Attention to ...

FINDLAY,OH—The entire office staff of Altman & Hanson Accounting remained utterly baffled as to what, if anything, should be done in response to the ...

ROANOKE, VA—"He fought that terrible gorilla with every last ounce of strength he had, but in the end, David's body just couldn’t ...

WAUWATOSA, WI—With the lower half of his body pinned beneath the two-ton bulk of an overturned Jeep, Dennis Wagar told reporters Monday that...

WASHINGTON—Experts predict 39-year-old Doug Mahoney's most nutrient-rich layers will be washed away by the end of the decade, leaving little more than a ...

Today Now! welcomes adventurer and balloonist Trent Montaug, who is determined to steer the conversation to the horrors of horse abuse.

CATONSVILLE, MD—"What's a man that age doing near a well to begin with?" said Janice Peters, who spent the day not praying for ...

FT. LAUDERDALE, FL—Jeremy McCormick, 14, confirmed Tuesday that he brought a tennis ball on his trip to Florida. "I figured I'd bring it...