Onion News Network To Broadcast Planet's Final Moments NEW YORK, NY (September 29, 2011) - With a giant asteroid expected to hit Earth on October ...

Brooke discusses the value of drunk texting when trying to intimidate or freak out an old flame, but says that there are definitely instances when ...

NEW YORK, NY – September 22, 2012 – Following record-breaking ratings for Ashton Kutcher's premiere on CBS's Two And A Half Men this week, a ...

See Brooke when the cameras aren’t on her: casual, in lounge clothes, being "real," hopefully gaining higher ratings with her "realness," and answering even ...

Brooke takes time out of her busy schedule to answer viewer questions in a totally casual -- not because the network coerced her into pretending to ...

"Onion Destitute Channel" Will Cater To Growing Demographic Of Americans Living In Poverty NEW YORK, NY (September 15, 2011) - Following this week's report from ...

On "This Day In History," a historic civil rights law made racism less overt in America.

Perry To Make Executing Prisoners Central Campaign Theme NEW YORK, NY (SEPTEMBER 8, 2011) - In response to the raucous applause he received for proudly defending ...

Network To Air Exclusive Pre-Natal Interview With Singer's Fetus New York, NY (August 31, 2011) - Just days after the announcement of pop megastar Beyonce ...

New York, NY (August 25, 2011) - Natural disasters are sweeping the East Coast of our great nation: An Earthquake struck Tuesday afternoon in Virginia, and ...

The Onion News Network is now 20 percent louder than any other network on television.

In the Daily Briefing, Obama asks the nation to "be cool" while his friends Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni are in town.

Congress has pledged to consider looking into new sanctions following North Korea's eradication of all life on the Asian continent.

Autistic reporter Michael Falk says the stainless steel CometLiner 2 car was lucky enough to escape unharmed from its collision with a man.

Motorcycle! Motorcycle! Motorcycle! is a fast-paced news and current affairs program devoted to bringing you the latest need-to-know information about awesome motorcycles.

Congress debated a number of new American Dreams before choosing a motorcyle-based dream. Which do you think they should have picked?

NASA has embarked on a low-cost exploration of a highway in New Mexico. What's the most exciting item discovered by the rover?

Protesters in Florida waved signs decrying gay adoption for subjecting the children of same-sex parents to horrible, bigoted protesters like themselves.

People began to give up on the American Dream almost from the time it was created. Below, a letter from a riverboat porter written in ...

A special message from Mayor Sue Hallinan: "Just wanted to let folks know that there's going to be a whole bunch of commotion down ...