Obama Announces Plans To Run For McCain's Senate Seat In 2010
PHOENIX—"Together, we can meet the challenges we face. Together, we can send a message to Washington, and together, we can beat John McCain," said ...
John mccain
Area Woman Becomes Republican Vice Presidential Candidate
WASILLA, AK—In a dramatic capper to a year that already saw her son's hockey team go to district finals, a successful remodeling of ...
McCain Stares At Screen, Attempts To Write Family Christmas Letter
SEDONA, AZ—After procrastinating for several hours by watching It's A Wonderful Life and old John Wayne movies, former Republican...
McCain Gets Hammered At Local VFW
PHOENIX—After conceding defeat in the 2008 presidential election, former Republican candidate John McCain reportedly got completely hammered...
McCain Refusing To Tell Voters What's In Box Unless Elected
WASHINGTON–With just one day before voters head to the polls, presidential candidate John McCain told the American people Monday that,...
Unlicensed Plumber and Tax-Evader Endorses McCain
Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, has publicly endorsed McCain. What do you think?
Report: Election May Come Down To Single Candidate
WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the New America Foundation, the race for the presidency could potentially culminate in...
Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’
Despite the media's portrayal of her, Cindy McCain says she is a down-to-earth person who enjoys breathing oxygen and consuming earth food for energy.
Candidates Annoyed To Have To Take Stance On Zinc Mining
WINONA, MO—After learning about the importance of zinc mining to residents in the crucial swing state of Missouri, presidential candidates...
McCain Blasts Obama As Out Of Touch In Burma-Shave-Style Billboard Campaign
RAPID CITY, SD—John McCain escalated his attacks on Obama's leadership credentials Tuesday by endorsing a series of rhyming...
John McCain Accidentally Left On Campaign Bus Overnight
Campaign officials downplayed the incident, saying the senator was fine as soon as he was fed and taken to the bathroom.
John McCain Not Going To Ask Cindy McCain Twice
WASHINGTON—While traveling on his campaign bus yesterday, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) took a moment to forcefully reiterate his official...
Poll: 85% Of Americans Would Like To See Candidates Compete In Funny Obstacle Course
WASHINGTON—According to a USA Today–Gallup poll released Monday, as many as 85 percent of Americans strongly wish to see Sens. Barack...
Cool McCain Supporter Wears 'McCain 2000' Shirt To Campaign Speech
COLUMBUS, OH—According to attendees at a rally held in Columbus' Capitol Theatre Monday, a John McCain supporter in his early 30s was envied...
Scott Bakula Jumps Into McCain's Body Just Before Election
WASHINGTON—With Republican nominee John McCain continuing to flounder at the polls, the unknown force that orders the universe announced...
Much-Criticized Media Vows To Return To Softball Tactics
WASHINGTON—Having endured weeks of pointed criticism over their aggressive questions, research-based analyses, and recent tendency to...
Scandal: McCain Won Miss Congeniality Of U.S. Senate In 2000, 2003
WASHINGTON—Despite insisting several times during the first presidential debate that he had never won the U.S. Senate Miss Congeniality...
Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain
In response to Republican attacks, Barack Obama unleashed a series of slightly negative ads that gently point out how McCain could be doing a better ...
Report: 60 Million People You'd Never Talk To Voting For Other Guy
BOSTON—The fact that you and these 60 million strangers actually live in the same country and salute the same flag seems to defy reality ...
