Justice

Shelby Cross Instructs Viewers To Build "Justice Shed"

ISSUE 47•21 | 05.26.11 | Onion News Network On IFC

Shelby warns viewers they need a place to hold suspicious-looking characters the police are too lazy to arrest. more»
New Bailiff Tired Of Hearing How Old Bailiff Did Things

ISSUE 47•20 | 05.19.11 | Radio News
FBI: 6 Dead Not Really 'Mass Murder'

ISSUE 47•16 | 04.28.11 | Radio News
Director Of FBI Wishes He Had Some Alien Thing To Cover Up

ISSUE 47•15 | 04.15.11 | Radio News
Naïve Detective Suspects Fair Play

ISSUE 47•14 | 04.06.11 | Radio News
Jury Selection Proving Difficult In Trial Of 'The Jury Killer'

ISSUE 47•09 | 03.04.11 | Radio News
Justice Thomas Marks 5 Years Of Court Silence

ISSUE 47•07 | 02.15.11 | American Voices

Next week will mark the fifth anniversary of the last time Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas spoke aloud while hearing a case. more»
Serial Killer Apparently Feels Entitled To Coverage

ISSUE 47•04 | 01.29.11 | Onion News Network On IFC

In another "In My Sights" segment, Brooke dressed down a serial killer as lazy and unoriginal. more»
127 Charged In Mob Sweep

ISSUE 47•04 | 01.24.11 | American Voices

In the largest mob crackdown in U.S. history, the FBI has targeted 30 “made” members and nearly 100 associates of the Mafia in New York, New Jersey, and Rhode Island. more»
'May God Have Mercy On Your Soul' Says Man Before Executing Other Man

01.17.11 | Newswire
The Onion's Interactive Police Blotter

ISSUE 46•48 | 12.08.10 | Interactive Feature Large

Explore area crimes reported by the Onion's law enforcement beat. more»
Supreme Court Understudy Fills In For Scalia

ISSUE 46•45 | 11.09.10 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—After waiting in the wings of the U.S. Supreme Court for three long years, understudy Albert Dorchester, 28, finally got a chance to fill in for Justice Antonin Scalia Tuesday when a sudden illness kept the veteran jurist from his usual d... more»
Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her

ISSUE 46•04 | 01.25.10 | Newsroom

In this episode of 'Raw Justice,' a depraved sex fiend violated his wife's body almost weekly for ten years before finally murdering her. more»
Crime Reporter Finds Way Of Linking Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act

ISSUE 45•40 | 09.28.09 | Newsroom

On Raw Justice, host Dean Reid investigates the closed case of an 'accidental' fire and finds shocking new evidence of sexually motivated arson. more»
Department Of Justice Adds Mounted Prosecutors

ISSUE 44•49 | 12.03.08 | Radio News
Least-Cited Supreme Court Cases

ISSUE 44•48 | 11.26.08 | Statshot
New Texas Legislation Would Require Whiskey Bottles To Be Shot Out Of Air Immediately After Being Emptied

ISSUE 44•46 | 11.10.08 | News in Brief

AUSTIN, TX—A new piece of legislation proposed yesterday on the floor of the Texas Legislature would require that all whiskey bottles be... more»
Supremes Court Upholds Stopping In The Name Of Love In 2-1 Decision

ISSUE 44•44 | 10.31.08 | News

WASHINGTON—Chief Justice Ross gave the sole dissenting opinion, saying she could not endorse a ruling that did not take into account the varying degrees of love. more»
Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

ISSUE 44•26 | 06.23.08 | Newsroom

Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions. more»
Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working

ISSUE 44•14 | 04.03.08 | News in Brief

LOS ANGELES—An ongoing interrogation at the Los Angeles Police Department's downtown precinct has not been as successful as hoped, despite the... more»
Crime Scene Investigators Find Arrowhead

ISSUE 43•46 | 11.16.07 | News

BALTIMORE—Police were shocked to discover an arrowhead that could be thousands of years old lying right next to the partially decomposed bodies of two children. more»
Man Sentenced To 3 Months Probation For 17th-Degree Murder

ISSUE 43•42 | 10.16.07 | News in Brief

ST. LOUIS—Jury members in the murder case against real estate agent David Steffen said that the angry message Steffen left on victim Ron... more»
Law Enforcement

ISSUE 46•35 ISSUE 43•17 | 04.25.07 | Slideshow
China Bans Human Organ Trafficking

ISSUE 43•15 | 04.12.07 | American Voices

Amid allegations that they are harvesting the organs of executed prisoners, China is banning the sale of human organs starting May 1. What do... more»
Rookie Told To Ease Up On Crime-Scene Tape

ISSUE 42•49 | 12.05.06 | News in Photos
Activist Judge Cancels Christmas

ISSUE 41•50 | 12.14.05 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Liberal Judge Stephen Reinhardt ruled that the celebration of Christmas, and any directly related good cheer, is unconstitutional. more»
Wrongly Imprisoned Man Won't Shut Up About It

ISSUE 41•35 | 08.31.05 | News

JOLIET, IL—George Howard Buell, wrongly convicted of rape and burglary, won’t stop yammering about his innocence. more»
Anti-Terrorism Measures

ISSUE 41•31 | 08.03.05 | Infographic

In the wake of the London bombings, what are American cities doing to protect their citizens from terrorist attacks? more»
Area Father Urges Reopening Of 1998 Missing-Rake Case

ISSUE 40•22 | 06.02.04 | News

EDINA, MN—Although no one has seen the rake in six years, Marsh Lufler has not given up hope that he may someday find it. more»
Gay Couple Feels Pressured To Marry

ISSUE 44•26 ISSUE 40•22 | 06.02.04 | News

DEDHAM, MA—Ever since last month, when Massachusetts became the first state to allow same-sex weddings, parents, friends, and coworkers have been pressuring Kristin Burton and her girlfriend Laura Miyatake to marry, the couple of 14 months said Monday. more»

justice

Shelby Cross Instructs Viewers To Build "Justice Shed"

New Bailiff Tired Of Hearing How Old Bailiff Did Things

FBI: 6 Dead Not Really 'Mass Murder'

Director Of FBI Wishes He Had Some Alien Thing To Cover Up

Naïve Detective Suspects Fair Play

Jury Selection Proving Difficult In Trial Of 'The Jury Killer'

Justice Thomas Marks 5 Years Of Court Silence

Serial Killer Apparently Feels Entitled To Coverage

127 Charged In Mob Sweep

'May God Have Mercy On Your Soul' Says Man Before Executing Other Man

The Onion's Interactive Police Blotter

Supreme Court Understudy Fills In For Scalia

Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her

Crime Reporter Finds Way Of Linking Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act

Department Of Justice Adds Mounted Prosecutors

Least-Cited Supreme Court Cases

New Texas Legislation Would Require Whiskey Bottles To Be Shot Out Of Air Immediately After Being Emptied

Supremes Court Upholds Stopping In The Name Of Love In 2-1 Decision

Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

Good Cop, Avid-Stamp-Collector Cop Routine Not Working

Crime Scene Investigators Find Arrowhead

Man Sentenced To 3 Months Probation For 17th-Degree Murder

Law Enforcement

China Bans Human Organ Trafficking

Rookie Told To Ease Up On Crime-Scene Tape

Activist Judge Cancels Christmas

Wrongly Imprisoned Man Won't Shut Up About It

Anti-Terrorism Measures

Area Father Urges Reopening Of 1998 Missing-Rake Case

Gay Couple Feels Pressured To Marry

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan