Woman Takes Up Running Clothes

BROOKLYN, NY—Running his hands through his freshly showered hair while hanging his backpack on the back of his chair, unbearably chipper little motherfucker Dave ...

HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that ...

Free Printer Only Reason For Coworkers To Be In Same Physical Space

Patrons of Darrin’s Bar and Grill looked on in horror Friday as the Barenaked Ladies song “One Week” was brutally murdered by local band ...

HARTFORD, CT—Unable to secure the services of any of the young women who normally watch her 4-year-old son when she goes out for the ...



BRISTOL, CT—Approaching the second half of her twenties with a college degree, a full-time job, and a wide circle of friends, local woman Amanda ...

Jesse Faws, 28, died Tuesday in a dream about a plane crash while asleep on a plane that crashed.

SALEM, OR—Sources confirmed that local man Paul Gallagher emailed friends a link to an eight-minute-long YouTube video Wednesday, evidently experiencing some kind of psychotic ...

PROVIDENCE, RI—Sources attending a house party on Governor Street confirmed that the dude with the knit hat has been referring to the supply of ...

WHITEHALL, NY—Claiming that the dilapidated, sun-bleached recreational facility had been on its last legs for years, local residents told reporters Monday that this has ...

WASHINGTON—After a brief two-day reprieve from looking at them day in and day out, Americans across the nation were yet again forced to endure ...

CLEVELAND—Faculty and staff at Baxter High expressed a profound sense of relief Monday upon learning that the school’s most infamous troublemaker, 65-year-old geology ...

HARTFORD, CT—Following months of hesitantly tiptoeing around the matter, sources confirmed that local claims adjuster Jeff Sterling today finally “cut the shit” and demanded ...