25-Year-Old Woman's Biggest Dream Still Being Popular High School Student
BRISTOL, CT—Approaching the second half of her twenties with a college degree, a full-time job, and a wide circle of friends, local woman Amanda ...
Local
Jesse Faws
Jesse Faws, 28, died Tuesday in a dream about a plane crash while asleep on a plane that crashed.
Friend Who Sent Link To 8-Minute YouTube Video Must Be Fucking Delusional
SALEM, OR—Sources confirmed that local man Paul Gallagher emailed friends a link to an eight-minute-long YouTube video Wednesday, evidently experiencing some kind of psychotic ...
Dude With Knit Hat At Party Calls Beer ‘Libations’
PROVIDENCE, RI—Sources attending a house party on Governor Street confirmed that the dude with the knit hat has been referring to the supply of ...
This Has To Be Year Local Miniature Golf Course Finally Goes Out Of Business
WHITEHALL, NY—Claiming that the dilapidated, sun-bleached recreational facility had been on its last legs for years, local residents told reporters Monday that this has ...
Sight Of Coworkers' Stupid Fucking Faces Endured Yet Again
WASHINGTON—After a brief two-day reprieve from looking at them day in and day out, Americans across the nation were yet again forced to endure ...
High School Breathes Sigh Of Relief As Difficult Teacher Ages Out Of Education System
CLEVELAND—Faculty and staff at Baxter High expressed a profound sense of relief Monday upon learning that the school’s most infamous troublemaker, 65-year-old geology ...
Man Straight-Up Demands To Know How Many Siblings Coworker Has
HARTFORD, CT—Following months of hesitantly tiptoeing around the matter, sources confirmed that local claims adjuster Jeff Sterling today finally “cut the shit” and demanded ...
Breakfast In Bed Served To Mom Who Just Got Eaten Out
PEORIA, IL—While celebrating Mother’s Day today, local woman and mother of two Ellen Taylor, 38, was reportedly served breakfast in bed by her ...
New to the market!
Lovely two-bedroom, one-bath condo, carefully renovated to retain the intoxicating scent of previous tenant Lisa.
Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk
ETNA, PA—Moments after watching him finish his fifth alcoholic beverage at the Crow’s Nest Bar and Grill Thursday night, sources reported local man ...
That Definitely The Last Thing Jewish Baby Was Expecting
That Definitely The Last Thing Jewish Baby Was Expecting
Mentally Unstable Man To Exhibit 1 Or 2 More Warning Signs Before Finally Doing This
Local mentally ill man Michael Redding, 26, announced his intention Thursday to display one or two further instances of troubling behavior before finally going ahead ...
Mentally Unstable Man To Exhibit 1 Or 2 More Warning Signs Before Finally Doing This
WHIPPANY, NJ—Local mentally ill man Michael Redding, 26, announced his intention Thursday to display one or two further instances of troubling behavior before finally ...
Uncooperative Seller!
Three bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, two-car garage, and one seller who will change their mind at least four times during the sale process and will ...
