Featured Section: Masculinity
Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day
NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom's full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his ...
Greeting Each Other Like Normal Human Beings Impossible For Local Friends
PHOENIX—Persons close to Jake Parmentier and Mike Seifkes told reporters Saturday that despite being full-grown adults with jobs and families, the two longtime friends ...
48-Year-Old Man Actually Very Open To Dating 25-Year-Olds
WILMETTE, IL—Describing himself as "open-minded" and "very willing to try new things," 48-year-old law firm partner Richard Bogan told reporters Saturday that, as unconven ...
Nation Impressed By Feats Of Very Strong Little Boy
Pint-Sized Muscleman Can Lift Entire Frozen Turkey Over Head
WILLIAMSON, NY—Seven-year-old elementary school student Michael Sartinsky has once again wowed the nation with the latest impromptu demonstration of his almost superhuman strength, this ...
Empowered Man Murders Controlling Wife In Lifetime For Men Original Movie
LOS ANGELES—The film chronicles the painful ordeal of a fun-loving mechanic who meets a seemingly perfect woman but must soon fight for his own ...
Asian Teen Has Sweaty Middle-Aged-Man Fetish
AOMORI, JAPAN—"He was so hot and exotic-looking," said 17 year-old Misaki Nakajima, referring to the obese, unemployed character played by John Candy in Uncle ...
Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal
LOS ANGELES—Even though men with this hairstyle comprise just 3 percent of the US populace, activists argue, they make up 80 percent of TV ...
New Texas-Style Yogurt To Feed Man-Size Hunger For Yogurt
MINNEAPOLIS—"Open wide boys," Yoplait representatives announced. "Whether you're a tough guy, a badass, or a stone-cold sonofabitch, this is the yogurt for you."
Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement
WASHINGTON—"All the feminist movement needed to do was hire someone who had the balls to do something about this glass ceiling business," new head ...
ESPN Courts Female Viewers With 'World's Emotionally Strongest Man Competition'
BRISTOL, CT—Sports broadcasting giant ESPN, whose programming has long been a staple among male television viewers of all ages, made its first foray into ...
Guys' Night Out To Include Several Key Non-Guys
COLUMBUS, OH—Though buddies Jim Foglia, Chuck Harvestine, and Russell Vento insisted that Thursday will be a "guys night out," certain key non-guys are likely ...




















