Romney Just Saying He Grew Up Poor In Memphis Now
RENO, NV—Abandoning his campaign’s previous strategies for winning over undecided voters in advance of November’s presidential election, sources are reporting that Republican ...
Mitt Romney
Romney: 'We Should Never Apologize For American Values Or Japanese Internment Camps'
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Criticizing the Obama administration’s response to the current crisis in Libya and Egypt, Mitt Romney told reporters Wednesday that we should never ...
Mitt Romney Reaches Out To Young Voters With Laser Tag Pizza Party
MANCHESTER, NH—Seeking new ways to appeal to the 18-to-29-year-old electorate, Mitt Romney hosted the first of several planned “Rockin’ Romney Friday Nite GOPizza Parties ...
Paul Ryan Knocked Over By Pack Of Rambunctious Romney Boys
BELMONT, MA—Visiting the home of running mate Mitt Romney today, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) was reportedly knocked to the floor by a pack of ...
Romney Privately Wondering How In The Name Of Fuck He’s Going To Appeal To Asian Voters
MOLINE, IL—Mitt Romney privately wondered this week just how in the name of living fuck he’s supposed to appeal to Asian voters, sources ...
Romney's Acceptance Speech To Avoid Mentioning Personal, Professional, Religious, Political Life
TAMPA, FL—According to sources within Mitt Romney’s campaign, the presidential nominee’s acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention tonight will aim to ...
Democratic Scouts Head To Tampa To Get Closer Look At Mitt Romney
TAMPA, FL—In an effort to better gauge the competition, scouts for the Democratic Party headed to the Republican National Convention in Tampa this week ...
Ryan Begins Attacking Romney's Record As Massachusetts Governor
DENVER—Displaying the tough no-nonsense talk and firm commitment to conservative principles that led to his selection as the Republican vice presidential candidate, Rep.
'Romney Murdered JonBenét Ramsey,' New Obama Campaign Ad Alleges
CHICAGO—With campaign rhetoric becoming increasingly heated and both presidential nominees releasing more attack ads, a new 30-second spot from the Obama campaign this week ...
Romney Stuck In Endless Loop Of Uncomfortable Chuckling
PORTSMOUTH, VA—According to increasingly concerned campaign sources, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney entered his 400th consecutive hour of uneasy chuckling Monday, apparently stuck in ...
Mitt Romney Soars In Polls After Leaving Country
WASHINGTON—According to a newly released USA Today/Gallup poll, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's favorability has surged to 64 percent since he left ...
Romney Requiring Potential Running Mates To Write 5,000 Word Essay On Favorite Things About Money
BOSTON—As part of its vetting process to select a potential vice president, the Romney campaign reportedly asked each of its shortlisted candidates this week ...
Romney Comes Clean, Admits He Made $32 Trillion In 2006
BOSTON—In an effort to make a full disclosure of his professional and financial records following discrepancies over his stewardship of Bain Capital, Republican presidential ...
Romney Receives 20-Minute Standing Ovation At NAAWP Event
HOUSTON—During an address Wednesday to the National Association for the Advancement of White People, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney received a lengthy standing ovation ...
Report On Continuing Plight Of Millions Of Unemployed Americans Results In Round Of High-Fives At Romney Campaign Headquarters
BOSTON—Bleak unemployment numbers released Wednesday reportedly sent a wave of applause cascading through the headquarters of Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, with staffers rejoicing ...
Romney Stares Uncomprehendingly At $1 Bill
POCATELLO, ID—A $1 bill somehow made its way into the hands of Mitt Romney during a campaign stop Thursday, reportedly causing the Republican presidential ...
