Baseball
Ozzie Guillen Assures Miami Fans That He Thinks Fidel Castro Is A ‘Total Fag’
Ozzie Guillen Assures Miami Fans That He Thinks Fidel Castro Is A ‘Total Fag’
Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day
Doc and Kenny catch a case of bullet-breath as they pull the trigger on Stephen Strasburg’s Opening Day ceremony, Kentucky’s draft prospects, and ...
Manny Ramirez Trying To Train Birds To Carry His Pop Fly Balls Over Fence
OAKLAND, CA—In an apparent attempt to keep himself relevant this season after a year off and a 50-game suspension to come, Manny Ramirez told ...
Miami Marlins Construction Crew Completely Unaware They've Been Building Baseball Stadium
MIAMI—Speaking with reporters while putting the finishing touches on Miami's new stadium Saturday, construction workers at Marlins Park admitted they had no idea ...
Honus Wagner Baseball Card
An ultrarare Honus Wagner baseball card, supposedly among the finest examples of the 60 believed to exist, is expected to bring $1.5 million at ...
MLB Investigates Why Joba Chamberlain Is Allowed To Have A Son
TAMPA, FL—After reviewing details of the Mar. 22 accident in which Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain suffered a dislocated ankle while playing with his 5-year-old ...
New Father Remembers Time When Baseball Wasn't So Goddamn Meaningful
EDEN PRAIRIE, MN—While stressing that he loves his 6-month-old son Jordan "more than life itself" and that fatherhood is "a whole new world opening ...
Kids Of Milwaukee Forced To Look Up To Ryan Braun On Technicality
MILWAUKEE—Despite ample evidence pointing to elevated levels of testosterone in Ryan Braun's urine, the mishandling of the Brewers slugger's sample means the ...
Josh Hamilton Apologizes For Not Calling Sports Media Immediately After Relapse
'I Let A Lot Of Nationally Syndicated Columnists Down,' Says Slugger
DALLAS—Texas Rangers All-Star outfielder and former alcoholic Josh Hamilton held a press conference Friday to issue an apology to the mainstream sports media for ...
Rangers Mistakenly Attempt To Woo Roy Oswalt By Touting Dallas' Gay Nightlife Scene
DALLAS—Sought-after free agent pitcher Roy Oswalt said he was "flattered and impressed" by the effort the Texas Rangers made in trying to sign him ...
Joel Zumaya Agrees To Throw One Last Amazing Pitch
MINNEAPOLIS—Injury-plagued fireball reliever Joel Zumaya informed reporters Monday that his new $800,000 contract with the Twins obligates him to throw one last beautifully ...
Prince Fielder Catching On To Fact That Teams Take Free Agents Out To Dinner A Lot
ORLANDO, FL—After recently visiting the Texas Rangers to discuss the possibility of signing a long-term contract, All-Star first baseman Prince Fielder told reporters Monday ...
Seattle Mariners Hope Jesus Montero Can Get Good Enough To One Day Sign With Yankees
SEATTLE—Introducing former Yankee farmhand Jesus Montero to the media Friday, the Seattle Mariners said they have high expectations for the newly acquired catching prospect ...
