Area Man Plays 'Imagine' Every Time He Sees A Piano
SALEM, OR— Friends of Bill Moreland expressed irritation Monday over the 29-year-old's habit of playing John Lennon's "Imagine" whenever a piano is in ...
Music
Lee Greenwood Urges U.S. To Take Military Action Against Iraq
NASHVILLE, TN— With sales of "God Bless The U.S.A." waning after a
five-month surge, country singer Lee Greenwood urged the U.S. to ...
Smiling Willie Nelson Reflects On A Lifetime Of Weed And Women
LUCK , TX— Taking a long, slow drag off a joint, country-music legend Willie Nelson reflected on a lifetime of weed and women Monday. "I've ...
Michael Jackson Deposed As King Of Pop In Hitless Coup
LOS ANGELES— After a two-decade reign as King Of Pop, Michael Jackson was overthrown Tuesday in a hitless coup. "Following the lackluster performance of Invincible ...
Area Man Proud Of Liner Notes To Self-Burned Compilation CD
CHICAGO—Josh McCue, 26, expressed deep pride Monday in the liner notes he penned for his latest self-burned compilation CD.
Polish Rapper Under Fire For Use Of The Word 'Polack'
DETROIT— MC Krakow, a popular Detroit-based rapper of Polish descent, came under fire Tuesday for his use of the word 'Polack' on his new album ...
Headphones-Wearing Pedestrian Loudly Proclaims Iron Man Status
MINNEAPOLIS—Local resident James Gaines loudly proclaimed his Iron Man status Monday while walking down Hennepin Avenue wearing a Sony Discman. "I am Iron Man ...
70 Percent Of World's Population Could Use All-Star Benefit Concert
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND—According to a study released Monday by the United Nations Economic and Social Council, 4.2 billion people—a full 70 percent of ...
Teen Who Just Discovered Led Zeppelin Starting To Piss Off Friends
GURNEE, IL—Mark Campa, 16, who has listened to and talked about Led Zeppelin almost exclusively since discovering the '70s rock group over the summer ...
President Urges Calm, Restraint Among Nation's Ballad Singers
WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of the recent national tragedy, President Bush is urging Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, and other singers to resist the urge ...
Bill Gates Finally Getting Into Radiohead's Kid A
REDMOND, WA— Eleven months after purchasing the Radiohead album, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates announced Monday that he is "finally getting into Kid A." "I listened ...
God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz
SOUTH BRONX, NY—The Lord Almighty announced He has mad love for every nigga who has given Him props throughout the years.
Garage Band Actually Believes There Is A 'Terre Haute Sound'
TERRE HAUTE, IN–The members of The Weebles, a local garage band formed in 1998, actually believe there is something called the "Terre Haute Sound ...
Honoring The King of Pop
On Sept. 7, ‘N Sync, Britney Spears, Destiny’s Child, and other superstars will gather at Madison Square Garden for a concert paying tribute to ...
The Backstreet Boys Or 'N Sync Release New Album
NEW YORK–Pop, the hotly anticipated new album from either The Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync, hit record stores Tuesday. "I'm pretty sure this ...
