Music
Soundgarden Inadvertently Reunites At Area Cinnabon
SEATTLE—"At first it was pretty awkward," said one observer. "But then it was like, 'Yes, Soundgarden is back.' It was so intense."
Only Remaining Rhyme Rapper Can Think Of Is 'Cliff Clavin'
ATLANTA—Rapper Young Jeezy, attempting to put the finishing touches on his latest single "U Know Da Club," has exhausted every rhyme...
Singing, Dancing Man Just Getting Started
CHICAGO—Despite having just completed a brief, wholly satisfactory down-tempo song-and-dance number followed by a brief pause that led many to believe he had completed ...
Steven Tyler Laid Off From Aerosmith As Band's Jobless Rate Hits 20%
BOSTON—The move is the band's most radical shift in economic policy since its experiment as a drug-trafficking cartel and a brief merger with ...
Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013
Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.
New VH1 Show Canceled For Not Being Pathetic Enough
NEW YORK—In a press release Tuesday, Viacom executives announced their newest hour-long VH1 Celebreality program, Knight Life, with...
Rock Song Takes Pro-Rock Stance
LOS ANGELES—A fist-pumping spokesperson for the rock and roll song "Rock You" declared the new track's unwavering pro-rock stance Monday...
Thousands Wait Overnight At Microsoft Stores For Second Generation Zune
The Zune's record-breaking sales have made its name synonymous with "mp3 player."
Local Radio Station Has Got Some Doobie Brothers Coming Up For You
NORWALK, CT—According to sources, local radio station 95.9 The Fox has got some Doobie Brothers on the way for you in just a ...
Scientists Warn Ionosphere One Top-40 Hit Away From Exploding
LOS ALAMOS, NM—Astrophysicists at the Los Alamos National Laboratory issued a nationwide alert Tuesday, warning that exposing the ionosphere...
Sugar Ray Thrilled To Be Playing In Man's Head
SAN DIEGO—"It's great to be back," announced frontman Mark McGrath, whose band followed thoughts of a turkey sandwich and a reminder to pay ...
Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Retires 'D' Chord
CLEVELAND—The D chord, famed for its part in innumerable classic rock songs, including "Back in Black," "Bad Moon Rising," and "Don't Be...
Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8
CHICAGO—According to the review, the popular medium that predates the written word shows promise but nonetheless "leaves the listener wanting more."
Teen's Eulogy Mostly Nickelback Lyrics
FORT WAYNE, IN—A eulogy delivered at St. John's Church yesterday by Joshua Gable, 16, for his late friend Darren Hall, 16, was composed...














