COOS BAY, OR—Amidst rapidly deteriorating environmental conditions that have left the species in imminent danger of extinction, the world’s leatherback sea turtles announced ...
NAPLES, FL—Describing it as a “real close call,” a local seagull suffering from an acute case of diarrhea told reporters that he was barely ...
BEVERLY, MA—According to sources, an impeccably maintained local 3-year-old Philodendron would be “as good as dead” if it ever left the pampered confines of ...
SITKA, AK—Saying that he feels like an utter moron and is still completely embarrassed, a gray wolf on Thursday told reporters how mortified he ...
SEATTLE—After repeatedly gorging itself on marine sea life for more than seven years, a severely obese chinook salmon told reporters Wednesday he had grown ...
LIMON, CO—Saying the 1,800-pound bovine had it coming, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar decked a wise-ass bison during his recent visit to ...
'They're Really Good, But We Shouldn't Be Saying That,' Says Spokesman
GLAND, SWITZERLAND—During a press conference outside their Swiss headquarters Thursday, World Wildlife Fund officials backpedaled from a controversial press statement released by the organization ...
THE SERENGETI—According to a male lion currently dying on the Serengeti Plain, his agonizing demise certainly doesn't seem as though it's part ...
MANAUS, BRAZIL—A team of scientists studying the Amazon Rainforest announced the remarkable discovery this week of thousands of previously undiscovered mammals, reptiles, birds and ...
ST. CLOUD, MN—Onlookers expressed shock and grudging admiration Wednesday after noticing a full load of mulch had been dumped in what all agreed was ...
PORT FOURCHON, LA—According to witnesses, the catastrophe began shortly after the tanker, which sailed unimpeded across the Gulf of Mexico, stopped safely at the ...
RICHMOND, VA—Executives at Philip Morris USA this week unveiled Marlboro Earth, a new eco-friendly cigarette that gradually eliminates the causes of global warming and ...
GALVESTON, TX—"Given their intelligence, we believed dolphins would be capable of trashing Lady Gaga, or at least, succeed in rolling their eyes at Kendra ...
WASHINGTON—The EPA called most of the environment’s day-to-day processes rude and inconsiderate, like its over-reliance on "perfectly clean soil" for sustainable growth, and ...
WASHINGTON—"It's fine, it's fine," thought Maine native Sheila Hodge, echoing the exact sentiments of Chicago-area resident Phillip Ragowski, recent Florida transplant Margaret ...
ZACKENBERG RESEARCH STATION, GREENLAND—According to oceanographers, the Arctic Circle has been devastated by the effects of global warming in recent years, threatening hundreds of ...
WASHINGTON—Officials at the Department of the Interior scrambled this week when their annual tally of the nation's rivers repeatedly came up...
WASHINGTON—Leading meteorologists classified the hybrid storm as an F4 tornado, Category 5 hurricane, and Level 7 redemptive act of God.
Panelists discuss whether animals should play a more active role in the fight for their rights by participating in marches or organizing boycotts.
