Next week's school shooting victims thank the members of Senate for failing to pass the gun bill, the cutest guy in an office is ...

WASHINGTON—Following FBI reports this morning that the suspects implicated in Monday’s Boston Marathon bombing are of Chechen descent, efforts to thoughtlessly stereotype the ...

WATERTOWN, MA—In an important development since our last update, sources can now positively confirm that we are doing a bad job covering the ongoing ...

WATERTOWN, MA—Following earlier updates on the manhunt for Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokar A.

WATERTOWN, MA—Citing the fact that we have done five breaking news updates in the last 30 minutes and have added no new information to ...

WATERTOWN, MA—Sources are currently reporting no actual relevant breaking news of any kind coming out of the Watertown area, so, yeah, anyway, how’s ...

WATERTOWN, MA—According to the latest news breaking from the scene of the ongoing Boston bomber manhunt, sources asked if anyone can ever truly know ...

WATERTOWN, MA—Citing exhaustive use of the word “breaking” to preface media coverage of today’s ongoing manhunt for one of the alleged Boston Marathon ...

WATERTOWN, MA—Sources can now confirm that there is still nothing new to report on the search for Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokar A.

WATERTOWN, MA—Sources are now confirming that no news is currently breaking in the manhunt for Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokar A.

BOSTON—In the midst of a widespread manhunt that has put the city of Boston on lockdown, CNN released a series of photographs today depicting ...

WASHINGTON—Saying that the last thing he ever wanted to do was ask “311 million mouth-breathing morons” for help, the Federal Bureau of Investigation freely ...

WASHINGTON—Calling the last four days of American life just...I mean, talk about a goddamned punch in the gut, citizens across the nation confirmed ...

PALO ALTO, CA—Eighteen months after the death of his mentor, Apple CEO Tim Cook was seen Wednesday pounding the tombstone of company founder Steve ...

Write gun control legislation. Pass gun control legislation. 

Ryan Jurgens rode the bench most of the season, but when his coach gave him a chance, it really paid off!

WASHINGTON—Leaders in the corrugated-cardboard lobby published their annual report card for U.S.