Foreign policy primer: Besides the US, there are 6 countries in the world. They are Israel, Iran, China, Libya, Syria and Afghanistan. — Onion Politics (@OnionPolitics ...

NEW YORK—After several minutes of intense negotiations, Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid agreed to trade the team’s No.

Onion Sports thoroughly examines the major needs of some NFL teams heading into the 2013 NFL Draft

NEW YORK—Ending any speculation about the top pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Nebraska Pioneers have reportedly informed Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te ...

NEW YORK—Moments before launching into a long diatribe about the 2013 NFL Draft’s top defensive backs, Sports Illustrated writer Peter King’s wife ...

Conventional draft wisdom says to take the best player available, but sometimes a team needs something different.

TOWSON, MD—Kim Kiper proudly displayed her husband’s 2013 NFL mock draft on the refrigerator door Wednesday, claiming that the 52-year-old football analyst worked ...

DENVER—In a stunning revelation Friday that sent shockwaves through the NFL, Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning announced during an emotional press conference that he is ...

RALEIGH, NC—Local homophobic man Trent Wesley, 43, announced Friday that any gay players currently on NFL rosters must be completely unknown special teams guys ...

NEW YORK—With the increasing likelihood that an active NFL player will announce his homosexuality before the start of the 2012-2013 NFL season, players across ...

IRVING, TX—In an effort to prevent the multiple championship–viewing player from reaching free agency, the Dallas Cowboys announced this week that the team ...

OAKLAND, CA—Claiming that there are plenty of dumb-as-fuck NFL franchises, Raiders general manager Reggie McKenzie reportedly expressed confidence Wednesday that some dipshit team would ...