Osi Umenyiora Hires Goat To Chew Up Contract Offers From Giants
Osi Umenyiora Hires Goat To Chew Up Contract Offers From Giants
NFL Football
NFL Not Planning On Drafting Anybody This Year
NFL Not Planning On Drafting Anybody This Year
NFL: Overtime Games To Be Decided By First Team To Do Something Really Fucking Awesome
NEW YORK—The NFL announced Monday that its owners have voted to change the league's regular-season overtime rules, which now stipulate that games will ...
Cowboys, Redskins Penalized An Additional $10 Million In Cap Space For Whatever Owners Are Planning To Do To Get Around The Cap
Cowboys, Redskins Penalized An Additional $10 Million In Cap Space For Whatever Owners Are Planning To Do To Get Around The Cap
After 1 Week In New York Tim Tebow Already A Gay, Homeless Crack Addict
Tim Tebow has fallen into sin, Tiger Woods is adequate again, and the Mets are questionable for opening day, but Doc Brooks and Kenny Kennedy ...
NFL Panics When Only 17 Prospects Declare For Draft
NEW YORK—National Football League officials announced Monday that the 2012 player draft, originally scheduled to begin April 26, may have to be rescheduled or ...
Broncos Receivers Worried Peyton Manning Going To Expose How Bad They Are
Doc and Kenny answer "fan mail" about terrible receivers in Denver, confusing NCAA-upset sex, and Bryce Harper's dickishness.
Tim Tebow Absolutely Horrified After First Phone Conversation With Rex Ryan
NEW YORK—Confusion, disgust, and terror were among the emotions new Jets quarterback Tim Tebow reported feeling after a 20-minute phone call with New York ...
Dolphins Spend Entire Meeting With Alex Smith Venting About Free Agents They Couldn’t Sign
MIAMI—Quarterback Alex Smith’s meeting with the Miami Dolphins on Sunday was unproductive, sources confirmed, because team executives were on the verge of tears ...
Panicked Redskins Send Another Couple First-Round Picks To St. Louis Just To Make Sure
WASHINGTON—Mere days after sending the St. Louis Rams three first-round picks and a second-round selection in exchange for the second pick of the 2012 ...
Peyton Manning Re-Injures Neck Saying No To Titans
Peyton Manning Re-Injures Neck Saying No To Titans
NFL: Thank God That Bounty Thing Is Over And All Fixed Now
NEW YORK—In a statement late Friday expressing its heartfelt relief at the passing of what it said was "really not a big deal after ...
Broncos' Manning Strategy Session Mostly Just Fantasizing About Accidents That Could Happen To Tim Tebow
Broncos' Manning Strategy Session Mostly Just Fantasizing About Accidents That Could Happen To Tim Tebow
Notable NFL Free Agents
The 2012 NFL schedule has begun with a frantic flurry of free-agent signings, and Onion Sports runs down the best players available.
Details Of The NFL Bounty Scandal
The NFL’s bounty investigation has triggered one of the biggest scandals in league history, and it’s no simple matter.
Players Drink Soda, Wear Sneakers, Drive Trucks On Grueling Day One Of NFL Endorsement Combine
INDIANAPOLIS—The first day of the NFL's endorsement combine ended Friday with draftees performing for marketing scouts in workouts that included shoe-posing, pizza-enjoying, and ...
