Tortured Ugandan Political Prisoner Wishes Uganda Had Oil
KAMPALA, UGANDA—A day after having his hands amputated by soldiers backing President Yoweri Museveni's brutal regime, Ugandan political prisoner Otobo Ankole expressed regret ...
Oil
Drilling For Oil In Alaska
Seeking to decrease U.S. dependence on Iraqi oil, Senate Republicans want to open Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for drilling. What do you ...
Report: U.S. Must Reduce Dependence On Foreign Turmoil
WASHINGTON, DC—According to a Cato Institute report released Monday, the U.S. has become overly dependent on foreign turmoil for its conversations and media ...
Bush Vows To Remove Toxic Petroleum From National Parks
WASHINGTON, DC–Vowing to "restore the pristine splendor of America's natural treasures," President Bush Monday unveiled "Project: National Parks Clean-Up," an ambitious program to ...
Discovery Of Oil Turns Peru Into Bunch Of Assholes
LIMA—Since finding oil, Peru has gone on a wild spending spree and petitioned to have its motto changed to "One Nation, Living The Sweet ...
Unnamed New Gas Station Struggling To Find 'Stop 'N Go' Variant
CHARLESTON, WV—The grand opening of a Charleston-area gas station was put on hold Monday as its owner struggled to find an available "Stop 'N ...
