Lazy Puma Exec Pitches Commercial Where Usain Bolt Runs Away From Something
BOSTON—The new campaign, which Puma advertising executive Paul Dewitt barely mustered the energy to title "Usain Bolt: Fast Guy," is scheduled to debut next ...
Olympics 2012
Olympic Rifleman Freelancing On Firing Squad
ZIRAKPUR, INDIA—Abhinav Bindra, the gold medal winner of the 10-meter air rifle event at the Beijing Olympics, revealed Wednesday that he...
Area Dad Hopes Son's Interest In Long Jumping Just A Phase
BALTIMORE—David Segal, 38-year-old accountant and father of two, expressed hope that his 10-year-old son's recent interest in long jumping...
Great Olympic Moments From The Lesser-Known Sports
Some of the greatest achievements in Beijing didn't happen on the track or in the pool. Onion Sports looks at notable stories from the ...
Michael Phelps' Name To Be Mentioned Six Times Following Olympics
NEW YORK—Once the euphoria accompanying his remarkable eight Olympic gold medals subsides later this month, Michael Phelps will be mentioned...
Remembering The Original Dream Team
With the USA's "Dream Team" looking to redeem their poor 2004 performance, Onion Sports looks back on the first, and arguably the best, Dream...
Neighbor Spotted Judging Women's Gymnastics Events On NBC
BRAYTON, IA—Local residents Harold and Eileen Weintraub were surprised and confused Sunday night when, while watching the 2008 Olympic Games...
Nation Asks Permission To Stop Watching Olympics Now
WASHINGTON—The people of the United States of America issued a formal request Monday, seeking permission to stop watching the 2008 Summer...
Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World
ORLANDO—Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist and SeaWorld main attraction Michael Phelps returned to his seven-million-gallon water tank Wednesday to resume his normal schedule of performing ...
U.S. Men's Gymnastics Team: 'Win Or Lose, We Will Cry'
BEIJING—After settling for bronze in the Team Artistic Gymnastic event Tuesday, the U.S. men's team promised reporters that, for the...
Green-Clad Olympic Archer Steals Gold Medals From Rich, Gives Them To Poor
BEIJING—Chinese Olympic officials say they are no closer to catching the swashbuckling, green-uniformed archery competitor who has disrupted every single medal ceremony of the ...
Hurdler Overcomes Many Hurdles To Win Hurdle Race
BEIJING—Despite encountering a multitude of 36-inch-high wooden barriers along the way, Japanese hurdler Narisako Kenji overcame every...
DVDs Of Olympics Somehow Available On Sidewalk Already
BEIJING—Several hours before the opening ceremony Thursday, ambitious Chinese street vendors obtained bootleg copies of the complete 2008...
Woman Turns Down $50 Million Offer From Professional Steeplechase League To Participate In Olympics
BEIJING—In a rare show of selflessness not often seen in sports, Norwegian Olympic steeplechase competitor Kristine Engeset told reporters...
