Olympics

London Officials Confirm Entire Olympics Will Take Place In Pouring Rain

ISSUE 48•20 | 05.08.12 | Sports Newswire

London Officials Confirm Entire Olympics Will Take Place In Pouring Rain more»
Olympic Officials Unveil Terrifying New Mascots For 2014 Games In Russia

ISSUE 47•06 | 02.09.11 | SportsDome

Olympic officials introduce Makhtar and Yorgov, who will haunt the dreams of children from now until the 2014 Sochi games. more»
China Hosts Realistic-Looking Olympics

ISSUE 44•52 ISSUE 44•51 | 12.15.08 | Sports News

BEIJING—Long after the closing ceremonies of last August's XXIX Olympiad, participants and spectators from around the world were still talking about the incredibly lifelike, almost realistic atmosphere the nation of China was able to bring... more»
Olympic Rifleman Freelancing On Firing Squad

ISSUE 44•44 | 10.30.08 | Sports News in Brief

ZIRAKPUR, INDIA—Abhinav Bindra, the gold medal winner of the 10-meter air rifle event at the Beijing Olympics, revealed Wednesday that he... more»
Chinese Womens' Paralympic Team Under Investigation For Having Arms, Legs

ISSUE 44•37 | 09.11.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—After numerous protests and accusations of foul play from Paralympic athletes, especially those participating in judo, basketball,... more»
Gold Medalist Michael Phelps Signs Up To Endorse Pool Noodles

ISSUE 44•36 | 09.04.08 | Radio News
Great Olympic Moments From The Lesser-Known Sports

ISSUE 44•35 | 08.28.08 | Sportsgraphic

Some of the greatest achievements in Beijing didn't happen on the track or in the pool. Onion Sports looks at notable stories from the less... more»
Michael Phelps' Name To Be Mentioned Six Times Following Olympics

ISSUE 44•35 | 08.28.08 | Sports News in Brief

NEW YORK—Once the euphoria accompanying his remarkable eight Olympic gold medals subsides later this month, Michael Phelps will be mentioned... more»
Guy Who Just Beat You To Bus Stop Usain Bolt

ISSUE 44•35 | 08.28.08 | Sports News in Brief

NEW YORK—Eyewitnesses confirm that the unusually quick young man who sprinted past you on the sidewalk this morning carrying a briefcase in... more»
North Korean Olympic Team Forced To Share Single, Grey Jumpsuit

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.22.08 | Radio News
Remembering The Original Dream Team

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.21.08 | Sportsgraphic

With the USA's "Dream Team" looking to redeem their poor 2004 performance, Onion Sports looks back on the first, and arguably the best, Dream... more»
Netherlands Taught How To Play Softball Seconds Before Being Shoved Onto Field Against U.S. Team

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.21.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—International Softball Federation officials met with the Netherlands softball team to explain the rules of the sport and provide... more»
Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.21.08 | Sports News

ORLANDO—Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist and SeaWorld main attraction Michael Phelps returned to his seven-million-gallon water tank Wednesday to resume his normal schedule of performing in six shows a day for marine park crowds every... more»
Nation Asks Permission To Stop Watching Olympics Now

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.21.08 | Sports News in Brief

WASHINGTON—The people of the United States of America issued a formal request Monday, seeking permission to stop watching the 2008 Summer... more»
Neighbor Spotted Judging Women's Gymnastics Events On NBC

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.21.08 | Sports News in Brief

BRAYTON, IA—Local residents Harold and Eileen Weintraub were surprised and confused Sunday night when, while watching the 2008 Olympic Games... more»
Nastia Liukin

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.21.08 | Strongside/Weakside

Nastia Liukin is a triple world champion and an Olympic gold medalist. But is she good at sports or just gymnastics? more»
Chinese Doctoring Public Perception During Olympics

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.20.08 | Infographic

In the opening ceremony for the 2008 Olympics, the Chinese digitally enhanced a fireworks display and replaced a 7-year-old singing girl with a... more»
China Bans Release Of Carbon Dioxide By Citizens

ISSUE 44•34 | 08.20.08 | Radio News
U.S. Charioteer Breaks 2,500-Year-Old Chariot-Race Record Set By Perseus

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.14.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—With just two hundredths of a second to spare, American charioteer Hank Fowler shocked those gathered in the Beijing Hippodrome... more»
Usain Bolt vs. Tyson Gay

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.14.08 | Keys To The Matchup

Usain Bolt of Jamaica and Tyson Gay of the U.S. are favorites in the Olympic 100 meters, but exactly what must they do to win? more»
Green-Clad Olympic Archer Steals Gold Medals From Rich, Gives Them To Poor

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.14.08 | Sports News

BEIJING—Chinese Olympic officials say they are no closer to catching the swashbuckling, green-uniformed archery competitor who has disrupted every single medal ceremony of the Games by bursting in, stealing the gold medal or medals in the... more»
Hurdler Overcomes Many Hurdles To Win Hurdle Race

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.14.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—Despite encountering a multitude of 36-inch-high wooden barriers along the way, Japanese hurdler Narisako Kenji overcame every... more»
U.S. Men's Gymnastics Team: 'Win Or Lose, We Will Cry'

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.14.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—After settling for bronze in the Team Artistic Gymnastic event Tuesday, the U.S. men's team promised reporters that, for the... more»
Olympic Closing Ceremonies To Feature Launch Of Chinese Nuclear Arsenal, Invasion Of United States

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.14.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—Responding to controversy regarding lip-syncing singers and "simulated" fireworks during the Olympic opening ceremonies, Chinese... more»
Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.11.08 | Newsroom

The Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported. more»
Man Gets In Best Shape Of Life To Hang From Bar

ISSUE 44•32 | 08.07.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—Over the course of two years, gymnast Fabian Hambuchen has sculpted his body into peak physical condition, reportedly training three... more»
Michael Phelps

ISSUE 44•32 | 08.07.08 | Strongside/Weakside

Michael Phelps may be the best U.S. athlete at the Olympics. However, he may also still be a swimmer. more»
Woman Turns Down $50 Million Offer From Professional Steeplechase League To Participate In Olympics

ISSUE 44•32 | 08.07.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—In a rare show of selflessness not often seen in sports, Norwegian Olympic steeplechase competitor Kristine Engeset told reporters... more»
DVDs Of Olympics Somehow Available On Sidewalk Already

ISSUE 44•32 | 08.07.08 | Sports News in Brief

BEIJING—Several hours before the opening ceremony Thursday, ambitious Chinese street vendors obtained bootleg copies of the complete 2008... more»
Greatest-Ever Olympic Moments

ISSUE 44•32 | 08.07.08 | Sportsgraphic

With the opening of the XXIX Summer Olympiad in Beijing, Onion Sports looks back on moments from the past that passed forever into... more»

olympics

London Officials Confirm Entire Olympics Will Take Place In Pouring Rain

Olympic Officials Unveil Terrifying New Mascots For 2014 Games In Russia

China Hosts Realistic-Looking Olympics

Olympic Rifleman Freelancing On Firing Squad

Chinese Womens' Paralympic Team Under Investigation For Having Arms, Legs

Gold Medalist Michael Phelps Signs Up To Endorse Pool Noodles

Great Olympic Moments From The Lesser-Known Sports

Michael Phelps' Name To Be Mentioned Six Times Following Olympics

Guy Who Just Beat You To Bus Stop Usain Bolt

North Korean Olympic Team Forced To Share Single, Grey Jumpsuit

Remembering The Original Dream Team

Netherlands Taught How To Play Softball Seconds Before Being Shoved Onto Field Against U.S. Team

Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World

Nation Asks Permission To Stop Watching Olympics Now

Neighbor Spotted Judging Women's Gymnastics Events On NBC

Nastia Liukin

Chinese Doctoring Public Perception During Olympics

China Bans Release Of Carbon Dioxide By Citizens

U.S. Charioteer Breaks 2,500-Year-Old Chariot-Race Record Set By Perseus

Usain Bolt vs. Tyson Gay

Green-Clad Olympic Archer Steals Gold Medals From Rich, Gives Them To Poor

Hurdler Overcomes Many Hurdles To Win Hurdle Race

U.S. Men's Gymnastics Team: 'Win Or Lose, We Will Cry'

Olympic Closing Ceremonies To Feature Launch Of Chinese Nuclear Arsenal, Invasion Of United States

Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever

Man Gets In Best Shape Of Life To Hang From Bar

Michael Phelps

Woman Turns Down $50 Million Offer From Professional Steeplechase League To Participate In Olympics

DVDs Of Olympics Somehow Available On Sidewalk Already

Greatest-Ever Olympic Moments

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U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan