Area Dad Hopes Son's Interest In Long Jumping Just A Phase
BALTIMORE—David Segal, 38-year-old accountant and father of two, expressed hope that his 10-year-old son's recent interest in long jumping...
Olympics
Guy Who Just Beat You To Bus Stop Usain Bolt
NEW YORK—Eyewitnesses confirm that the unusually quick young man who sprinted past you on the sidewalk this morning carrying a briefcase in...
Great Olympic Moments From The Lesser-Known Sports
Some of the greatest achievements in Beijing didn't happen on the track or in the pool. Onion Sports looks at notable stories from the ...
Michael Phelps' Name To Be Mentioned Six Times Following Olympics
NEW YORK—Once the euphoria accompanying his remarkable eight Olympic gold medals subsides later this month, Michael Phelps will be mentioned...
Netherlands Taught How To Play Softball Seconds Before Being Shoved Onto Field Against U.S. Team
BEIJING—International Softball Federation officials met with the Netherlands softball team to explain the rules of the sport and provide...
Nastia Liukin
Nastia Liukin is a triple world champion and an Olympic gold medalist. But is she good at sports or just gymnastics?
Remembering The Original Dream Team
With the USA's "Dream Team" looking to redeem their poor 2004 performance, Onion Sports looks back on the first, and arguably the best, Dream...
Neighbor Spotted Judging Women's Gymnastics Events On NBC
BRAYTON, IA—Local residents Harold and Eileen Weintraub were surprised and confused Sunday night when, while watching the 2008 Olympic Games...
Nation Asks Permission To Stop Watching Olympics Now
WASHINGTON—The people of the United States of America issued a formal request Monday, seeking permission to stop watching the 2008 Summer...
Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World
ORLANDO—Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist and SeaWorld main attraction Michael Phelps returned to his seven-million-gallon water tank Wednesday to resume his normal schedule of performing ...
Chinese Doctoring Public Perception During Olympics
In the opening ceremony for the 2008 Olympics, the Chinese digitally enhanced a fireworks display and replaced a 7-year-old singing girl with a...
U.S. Charioteer Breaks 2,500-Year-Old Chariot-Race Record Set By Perseus
BEIJING—With just two hundredths of a second to spare, American charioteer Hank Fowler shocked those gathered in the Beijing Hippodrome...
Usain Bolt vs. Tyson Gay
Usain Bolt of Jamaica and Tyson Gay of the U.S. are favorites in the Olympic 100 meters, but exactly what must they do to ...
Olympic Closing Ceremonies To Feature Launch Of Chinese Nuclear Arsenal, Invasion Of United States
BEIJING—Responding to controversy regarding lip-syncing singers and "simulated" fireworks during the Olympic opening ceremonies, Chinese...
U.S. Men's Gymnastics Team: 'Win Or Lose, We Will Cry'
BEIJING—After settling for bronze in the Team Artistic Gymnastic event Tuesday, the U.S. men's team promised reporters that, for the...
Green-Clad Olympic Archer Steals Gold Medals From Rich, Gives Them To Poor
BEIJING—Chinese Olympic officials say they are no closer to catching the swashbuckling, green-uniformed archery competitor who has disrupted every single medal ceremony of the ...
