Onion 1000
Tireless, Hardworking Reporter Has Already Won Greatest Prize Of All
'The Love And Respect Of My Family And Community,' Esteemed Journalist Says
NEW YORK—Reflecting on a life and career in which he has so far not received any prestigious journalism awards, hardworking reporter Peter Chaykin announced ...
'Onion' Snubbed By Pulitzers
This year, the Pulitzer Board has once again neglected to bestow an award upon The Onion. What do you think?
Media Watchdog Spokesman Sought On Embezzlement Charges
OMAHA, NE—According to FBI sources, the nonprofit media watchdog group Americans for Fairness in Awarding Journalism Prizes, or AFAJP, was ordered to cease operations ...
Lazy, Illiterate Pulitzer Board Should At Least Be Able To Watch This Fucking Video Recap
After a week of meritorious writing, reporting, and public service from America's Finest News Source, the hard-working men and women at The Onion provide ...
Mother Of Slaying Victim Glad It Was Onion Reporter Who Knocked On Her Door Half An Hour After Funeral
BALTIMORE—In mourning following the early morning slaying of her 16-year-old daughter by an unknown assailant in Broening Park, Grace Palmer expressed joy and gratitude ...
Onion Ignored By Pulitzer Committee
Despite its high-caliber journalism, The Onion has once again been snubbed by the body that awards the Pulitzer Prizes.
Top This
An unforgettable piece of photo-journalism from The Onion that competing media organizations will certainly be unable to surpass this year.
Millions Have Never Read The Onion
According to market research, there are millions of Americans who have never picked up a single issue of The Onion.
Investigation Exposes eBay User For Selling Fake Pulitzer Medals
Shoddy Imitation Prizes A Total Rip-Off
NEW YORK—Intrepid Onion journalists saw their hard work pay off this week after an investigative report months in the making exposed fraudulent Milwaukee eBay ...
Reporter Spends Month Undercover In Mass Grave
SAN FERNANDO, MEXICO—In an effort to better connect with the men and women murdered by the Zetas drug cartel, Josh Sullivan, an investigative reporter ...
Son Of Edward R. Murrow Says Father 'Real Dirtbag' Compared To Onion Reporters
SAN FRANCISCO—In an exclusive interview Tuesday, Internet executive Paul Murrow admitted that his revered journalist father, Edward R.
Too Much Integrity?
Some people say The Onion may have too much integrity for the Pulitzer Board to award it a prize.
Almost No One Noticing Officials Doing Corrupt Thing
Almost No One
WASHINGTON—Though officials apparently assumed they would get away with a deeply corrupt inside deal Tuesday, this morning’s edition of The Onion confirmed that ...















