Over the history of this institution, The Onion has published many stories that were, in retrospect, wildly inaccurate.
In last week's paper, The Onion accidentally omitted the final line of Gabe Blanchard's second-place entry in the 2009 Eighth-Grade Essay Contest.
Hey, everybody! I'm Rick Mahoney and I am so stupid. I'm the dumbest person on the planet. Durr, durrr, my brain is so ...