In last week's paper, The Onion accidentally omitted the final line of Gabe Blanchard's second-place entry in the 2009 Eighth-Grade Essay Contest.
Hey, everybody! I'm Rick Mahoney and I am so stupid. I'm the dumbest person on the planet. Durr, durrr, my brain is so ...
Last week, your mother clipped out and mailed you an article from our Health section that stressed the importance of regular dental checkups.
The final period from the final sentence from the final story in the last issue was missing. Here it is now: .
The Onion regrets that last week's report on the challenges facing British prime minister Gordon Brown neglected to include dandruff.