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Carlos Beltran First Player To Homer From Three Sides Of The Plate
Reggie Bush Listed As Product For Sale On Nike's Web Site
Tim Tebow Impressing Broncos With Absence
Success Of I'll Have Another Making Nation's Other 3-Year-Olds Feel Inadequate
Pau Gasol Blamed For Making Kobe Bryant Sound Like Asshole
Bryce Harper Asks Manager Where Bats Come From

other sports

Michael Phelps Apologizes To Nation After Tasting Subway For First Time

ISSUE 48•22 | 05.25.12 | Sports News in Brief

NEW YORK—In a press release issued Friday, Olympic gold medal swimmer Michael Phelps publicly apologized to his fans and Americans everywhere after actually tasting one of the Subway sandwiches he endorses. more»
Big Brown Attempts Horse Racing Comeback As Jockey

ISSUE 48•20 | 05.13.12 | Photo Finish
Police Continue Investigation Into Body Found At Churchill Downs By Questioning Horse Of Interest

ISSUE 48•20 | 05.12.12 | Sports News in Brief

LOUISVILLE, KY—The Louisville Metro Police Department said Thursday it is following all leads in the murder of track worker Adan Fabian Perez, even bringing in Derby horse Daddy Long Legs for questioning as a horse of interest. more»
Kentucky Derby Winner Hoping He Won't Have To Repeat What Was Easily Most Traumatic Experience Of Life

ISSUE 48•20 | 05.11.12 | Sports News

LOUISVILLE, KY—Shaken and trembling Kentucky Derby winner I'll Have Another, who came from behind and outside on the final turn to win the Kentucky Derby in a breathtaking display of speed and panic, is reportedly hoping that nothing like the 1-1/4-... more»
Promising 9-Pound Bass To Turn Pro

ISSUE 48•15 | 04.08.12 | Sports Newswire

Promising 9-Pound Bass To Turn Pro more»
Floyd Mayweather, Jr. And Manny Pacquiao Urged To Put Aside Differences And Fight

ISSUE 48•11 | 03.08.12 | Sports News in Brief

LAS VEGAS—Despite pleas from their managers, handlers, and fans, Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Manny Pacquiao are too consumed with anger toward each other to engage in fighting, sources close to the two boxers confirmed Thursday. more»
Anti-Doping Agency Has A Bunch Of Old Tour De France Titles Lying Around If Anybody Wants One

ISSUE 48•07 | 02.13.12 | Sports News in Brief

MONTREAL—Upon releasing documents Monday relating to the verdict against 2010 Tour de France winner Alberto Contador, World Anti-Doping Agency officials mentioned to reporters they have plenty of stripped Tour titles in the office that anybody could... more»
Landon Donovan Inks $2-Per-Goal Deal With Grandparents

ISSUE 48•06 | 02.06.12 | Sports News in Brief

LOS ANGELES—At a press conference Monday, Everton and Los Angeles Galaxy forward Landon Donovan announced his signing of a $2-Per-Goal contract with his grandparents Frank and Dianne Donovan—a full 100 percent raise from his previous ag... more»
2011 In The Less Popular Sports

ISSUE 47•49 | 12.09.11 | Sportsgraphic

Any fan will tell you the big-name leagues aren't the whole sporting world. As time expires on 2011, we take a look at major accomplishments, happenings, and developments in the less popular sports. The Bassmaster lockout ends quickly as lake owne... more»
Nation's Brothers-In-Law Know Exactly What They Want For Christmas

ISSUE 47•41 | 10.11.11 | Sports News in Brief

EVERYWHERE—The country's brothers-in-law released a statement Tuesday announcing their unparalleled desire to receive an expertly written, tangible anthology of sports and sports-culture journalism for Christmas. more»
X Games Perused To See If That Kid With The Skateboard From High School Is In It

ISSUE 47•31 | 08.01.11 | Sports News in Brief

TUALATIN, OR—Twenty-seven-year-old local resident Tom Portwood reportedly watched the X Games for nearly a half-hour Saturday, curious to see if that kid who skateboarded in high school was now participating in any of the events. more»
NCAA Lacrosse National Championship Goes Off Without A Hitch

ISSUE 47•23 | 06.03.11 | Sports News in Brief

BALTIMORE—The NCAA men's Division I collegiate lacrosse championship was successfully contested as expected Monday, crowning the season's winning team as easy as you please. more»
Report: Game Of Knockout Awesome

ISSUE 47•22 | 05.30.11 | Sports News in Brief

CHICAGO—An impromptu game of knockout at Gross Park Sunday involving 10 people and lasting more than 15 minutes was awesome, sources reported. more»
Mainstream Media Renames Novak Djokovic To More Consumer Friendly Ned Drucker

ISSUE 47•22 | 05.27.11 | Photo Finish
Lance Armstrong: I Never Failed One Of Those Shitty, Easy-To-Fool Doping Tests

ISSUE 47•51 ISSUE 47•21 | 05.27.11 | Sports News in Brief

AUSTIN, TX—Embattled seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong held a press conference this morning to sternly reiterate that during his career he passed every easy-to-mask, ineffective doping test he was ever given. more»
NASCAR Awards Driver $50,000 For Homophobic Comments

ISSUE 47•51 ISSUE 47•21 | 05.27.11 | Sports News

CHARLOTTE, NC—NASCAR took direct and immediate action Wednesday in response to homophobic slurs made by driver Kyle Busch last weekend, levying an award of $50,000 to the popular Sprint Cup star. NASCAR spokesman Ramsey Poston said he had reviewed t... more»
Animal Kingdom

ISSUE 47•51 ISSUE 47•20 | 05.15.11 | Strongside/Weakside

This 20-1 longshot wasn't presumed to be quick in the dirt, but he finished with a blistering final half-mile to win the 137th Kentucky Derby. more»
Could Shackleford Win The Triple Crown? No Because He Didn't Win The Kentucky Derby

ISSUE 47•19 | 05.13.11 | Photo Finish
UFC Fighter Has Idea For T-Shirt With A Bunch Of Shit Written All Over It

ISSUE 47•19 | 05.07.11 | Sports News in Brief

LAS VEGAS—Mixed martial artist Phillipe Nover announced design plans Thursday for a new T-shirt that he claimed would be completely covered in hundreds of dumbshit fighting terms and stupid fucking tribal patterns. more»
NASCAR Drivers Stop Cars Mid-Race, Exit Vehicles, Walk Off Premises

ISSUE 47•51 ISSUE 47•19 | 05.06.11 | Sports News

RICHMOND, VA —The Crown Royal 400 at Richmond International Raceway was cut short Saturday night as the entire field of drivers slowed to a halt on lap 244, shut off their engines, exited their cars, and walked off the track, saying that driving car... more»
On Geoffrey Mutai’s World-Record Boston Marathon

ISSUE 47•16 | 04.22.11 | Fan On The Street
Contador Cleared Of Doping By International Cycling Federation's Doping-Clearing Board

ISSUE 47•07 | 02.18.11 | Sports News in Brief

MADRID—The ICF's Doping-Clearing Board has investigated and cleared 2010 Tour de France winner Alberto Contador of all doping charges, allowing the three-time Tour champion to return to competition immediately, officials announced Monday. more»
Breaking: Corey Lawrence Now Undisputed King Of Masturbation

ISSUE 47•03 | 01.19.11 | SportsDome
Update: Masturbation Phenom Inches Closer To Record With Flurry Of Activity

ISSUE 47•03 | 01.19.11 | SportsDome
13-Year Old Nearing Record For Most Masturbations In A Single Day

ISSUE 47•03 | 01.19.11 | SportsDome
Highlights: Meth Addict Rob Langer Takes On Hundreds Of Invisible Snakes

ISSUE 47•02 | 01.12.11 | SportsDome

In National Crystal Meth Hallucination League action, Rob Langer goes 20 rounds in a marathon 2-day match up against an army of fire-breathing snakes. more»
On The Year In International Sports

ISSUE 46•51 | 12.24.10 | Fan On The Street
New Horse-Racing Initiative Aimed At Training Thoroughbreds From Inner City

ISSUE 47•51 ISSUE 46•49 | 12.10.10 | Sports News

COMPTON, CA—In an effort to develop a more diverse base of athletic talent, raise the sport's profile in nontraditional areas, and enrich the lives of troubled youth, thoroughbred-racing organizations are funding a new program to train inner-city and delinquent horses. more»
Tournament Bass Refuses To Talk To Reporters After Tough Day Getting Caught

ISSUE 46•47 | 11.26.10 | Sports News in Brief

LEWISVILLE, TX—A 7-pound, 18-inch largemouth bass bypassed reporters and went straight back into the water Saturday following a demoralizing defeat at the Bassmaster Lake Lewisville Shootout. more»
4 Dead, 12 Injured As Bull Wins Rodeo

ISSUE 46•46 | 11.19.10 | Photo Finish

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan

“Why should everyone in Pakistan have to suffer for one doctor’s foolish decision to rid the nation of a mass murderer?”

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